Plastic Coffee Cups

An open letter

2010-09-09T10:51:00.003-04:00

Dear Drivers of New Orleans,

First of all, let me start this off by admitting some fault of my own. As a cyclist, I occasionally ride like a...how to put this?...asshole. I occasionally ride like an asshole. I'd like to take just a moment to explain why I ride like an asshole - it's just a bit of simple arithmetic.

me + my bike = ~220 pounds

you + yr car = ~2000 pounds

So, on average, you have nearly 1800 pounds of sheer mass on me at any time. I only have a small number of things that make the difference between me getting home or to work safe, or getting dead: assholery, chutzpah, lights on my bike (which I have), and yelling at you when you fuck up driving.

Now that we have that out of the way, I'd like to move on to the point of this letter: who the FUCK taught all of you stupid, inconsiderate, lazy, mean, angry, selfish, doltish, fat fucking pieces of flaming shit how to drive? At what fucking point in your pointless, banal life did you decide to never use a goddamn fucking turn signal? When exactly did you figure out it was okay to yell, honk, and get pissed at bikers for simply riding on the road? And what the fuck gives you the fucking right to open your door into us and then get aggravated with us for not riding on the sidewalk, when it is impractical, inconvenient and OH YEA FUCKING ILLEGAL.

Ok, look, here's the thing - as much as all of you people and my ex-girlfriends wish I was, I'm not a fucking mind reader. I can't tell when you're going to turn right as I ride alongside of you. I don't know when you're going to run a red light to make a left turn. But luckily, someone thought of this dilemma at the dawn of the fucking automobile, and came up with a solution - one so common and simple and convenient that it comes standard on every vehicle - A FUCKING TURN SIGNAL. Fucking use it, you goddamn choad monster! Your hands are going to be turning that way anyways, and get this - it turns off automagically. How about that?!?!!

I don't really feel like getting into the whole "we're saving oil by not driving" argument, because I find it to be a slippery slope argument. But we're sure as shit keeping a car off the road by riding our bikes, and at the very least we're giving more road and parking spaces to you fucking turkey-necked asshats. Not that I would ever think of it as doing you, who I could give less than the one shit about, a favor. I like riding my bike.

By my conservative estimate, I've ridden somewhere between 7,000 and 9,000 miles on the roads of New Orleans. These are not isolated incidents - this is a pandemic of the worst fucking childish behavior I have ever seen. I've seen friends in the hospital because of you mouth breathers, in accidents that could have easily been avoided. To paraphrase Dominic, I hope the carcinogens in your truck give you and your whole family ass cancer.

To all the drivers who are considerate to bikers, use turn signals, give us the three feet REQUIRED BY LAW when driving past us, and don't get mad at us for no reason - thank you. But please tell all your dicknose driver buddies to stop fucking up.

Hugs and kisses,
Drew

"maybe blogging will help"

2010-07-09T13:02:00.001-04:00

revered comix dude john porcellino (of king-cat fame) stayed at my house with my buddy dan a little while back, and he started a blog sometime recently called "maybe blogging will help". i love the title and the sentiment. i wanna start writing in here again, and writing in general. i feel lazy and unproductive and shiftless. so maybe blogging will help.

really i came on here today to make a post about a Band That Not Enough People Know About, which i kinda wanna make into a regular thing.

today's band: garrison.

download a song!

read about them!

they're good, and make sure you read the last.fm page about gay for johnny depp, aka the best band in the world.

new zine idea

2010-04-28T19:26:00.004-04:00

ok, not that anyone reads this anymore, but i'm coming crawling back anyways.

i came up with what i think is a pretty good idea for a zine last night. carl helped a lot, in a way that is somewhat indirect, but also very direct.

my friend carl - he of so many biking and other adventures - has been banished by the us government for at least five years to his motherland of canada. needless to say this has made many of us here in new orleans very sad, shocked, distraught, angry. his sister came into town this week to pick up a bunch of his stuff, and last night we had a bonfire/party at his old house. he wrote a long letter and a poem that liz read to us, and supplied a bag of planting corn from his parents' farm. we each took some corn, and his letter instructed us to hang on to the corn and think of it as a little piece of carlito as we go on with our lives.

so this gave me an idea - i'm gonna do just that, and i'm gonna write another volume of something happened here, dedicated to carlito, in which i take "him" on all of our adventures this summer (or at least the ones where he won't get lost) and take photographs, write stories, have fun, be merry, drink too much, and generally do everything that would make carl happy and proud. it'll also provide some breathing room to write some more reflective stuff and give the thing a little depth, or something, running with some ideas carl touched on in his letter on the nature of government, immigration, what it means to have friends and something to come home to, etc.

oh, also, the piece of corn is named carlitoito - little little carl.

so a toast to carl, and a promise - "something happened here, vol 2: the adventures of carlitoito - summer 2010"

Non-political post for once!

2009-09-15T19:02:00.002-04:00

Ok, so - I am writing a zine. I am moving offline for this project. Crazy I know. But, must be done, I'm afraid. I am not shutting this down, but, ah, as the one to two month break between posts can attest, I've fallen a little behind.

As such, I thought I would share a little bit of the stuff that I've been writing. It's gonna be called "Something Happened Here" and it's gonna be about the crazy, weird, amazing, fun-as-hell summer we had here. It's written in the form of dispatches from different times and places throughout the summer, and I'm collecting artwork from various folks to make it look all purdy. Here's one of the entries....

dispatch 6 August 2009
in which
"who puts a pile of pillows out for the trash and then yells at you for being too loud in the inevitable pillow fight that happens when a dozen dirty punks on bikes ride by?!"

Full moon bike ride! We haven't had one since the water tower one that kicked off the summer, so it was great to have a wicked fun adventure with 11 other punx and one random "very important street artist" named Rain (Reign??) who joined up with us halfway, just in time for spin the bottle.

Callie and Carl, those lovable rapscallions, organized it, of course. The idea for this one was that everyone takes a sheet of paper and writes five directives on it - anything from "go two blocks, take a right" to "sing a Green Day song" to "Spin the bottle" (which we found out later was not even the real directive, but a beautiful improvisation!). Then, everyone took a sheet that wasn't theirs and read off their directions and we followed them. We started at Molly's, got organized, and we were off!

For some reason, at Dauphine and St Philip, someone put out a whole stack of pillows. It took us about .2 seconds before we realized our sacred duty - pillow fight! Ten minutes later, it was on to the next direction, which was (supposedly!) spin the bottle. After just a couple smooches, the guy whose house we were next to (and who put out the pillows?!?!) came out and yelled at us. We invited him to play but he seemed uninterested.

After a brief delay we found another spot and the smoochfest was ON. Much tongue action was to be had, as well as some ass grabbing, dry humping and even one cigarette smoke shotgun between Christopher and I (while open mouth kissing lolz!) Rain/Reign was not impressed at the prospect of making out with other boys (prude) and was constantly muttering stream of consciousness half nonsense. Boo to him.

Liz L came late and didn't write out directions, so she didn't pick one out of the hat. We decided that she would make up a direction for us at the end, when everyone else had read all their directions. She decided that the last direction was to go to back to Molly's and trade one article of clothing with someone else. One member of the troupe was wearing just a dress and underwear, so complained loudly about this directive. Liz simply responded with "Sorry love, but yr gonna have to get a little naked at Molly's!"

Sadly we never got to Molly's, because we suddenly got a rash of flat tires and had to fix them. As we waited, we all laid on each other and sang the entirety of "American Pie" by Don McLean. I think everyone but me knew all the words to that friggin song. It was unbelievable. But, since it was somewhere around one in the morning by this point, security guards came and kicked us off the river walk. Another rousing success of a full moon bike ride!

Ah, New Orleans

2009-07-27T17:05:00.002-04:00

Sometimes, it's easy to remember why this city rules.

Just returned from a weekend trip to Austin. That is also a really fantastic city. It's just as hot as NOLA, though in a drier-but-hotter kinda way. But the big thing about Austin? SO MUCH FUCKING SWIMMING.

Barton Springs is obviously amazing, and we swam there twice. We also went to the Red Bud swimming hole. Both of these are within a five minute drive of downtown.

It's also a cool place because there are so many young people and so much stuff to do. Whereas in New Orleans you hear people lamenting about "oh my god EVERYTHING is happening tonight!" on a night where there are three things going on, in Austin there seems to always be about 648 things to do every night.

And damn is everyone there ridiculously good looking! I got whiplash at Whole Foods.

But now it's back to New Orleans, and the thrilling/depressing roller coaster ride that is living here...

Because sometimes you care about South Carolina politics for microseconds at a time

2009-06-24T10:40:00.004-04:00

You know, I never intended to turn this into a political blog, but seeing as I've been a bit of a political junkie for the past, oh, 235346 years, it just kinda happened.

So, queen of the welfare queens Mark Sanford disappeared mysteriously on Thursday, and didn't tell his staff or even his wife (who "was not concerned because he'd told her he wanted to get away and do some writing" lolz) where he was going.

Here's the good part! Sanford returns today, through Atlanta so that he could avoid press in Columbia, SC, but is cornered in the ATL by ~~some podunk~~ the SC paper of record (?). He gives a bunch of contradictory answers re: his whereabouts. Finally says he was in Buenos Aires driving along the coast and couldn't be bothered to check in.

And then the AP (!!!) gets snarky.

Sanford told The State he was alone on the trip to Argentina. He declined to give any additional details about what he did other than to say he drove along the coastline.
Trying to make such a drive could frustrate a weekend visitor to Argentina. In Buenos Aires, the Avenida Costanera is the only coastal road, and it's less than two miles long. Reaching coastal resorts to the south requires a drive of nearly four hours on an inland highway with views of endless cattle ranches. To the north is a river delta of islands reached only by boat.

AP FTW!!!

You know, there's a term for people like Mark Sanford that I vaguely recall....what was it....oh yea:

Lindsey Graham is a fish fucker

2009-06-04T11:51:00.000-04:00

God, just when I thought sniveling, slimy, wide-stance-having senatorial tulip Lindsey Graham couldn't get any more offensive, he goes and says this shit about Sotomayor.

Although Graham said he would not use the word racist to describe Sotomayor, he indicated that her past statements raise concerns that, as a Supreme Court justice, she may not treat white males fairly. “Being an average, everyday white guy, that doesn’t exactly make me feel good,” Graham said.

Yep, that's what I'm concerned about - losing my white male privilege. That's going to happen. I mean, I'm sure that the SEVEN WHITE MEN ON THE SUPREME FUCKING COURT prove that white men have no positions of power left in this sad little country of MEXAMERICA.

Crazy!

2009-05-19T12:27:00.002-04:00

Busy busy two weeks coming up, and busy busy past couple of weeks. Recap:

- Parents came down. They had a great time and bought me lots of wonderful food. Brought dad to blue grass night, he loved it. Brought them both to the hottest apartment in the world, where we drank fancy drinks and stood in front of fans and played ping pong.

- Paul came down from Philly for Birthday Weekend. He caught the tail end of an epic, emotional couple of months for me.

- Body forced me to detox. Feel much better now.

- Nailed down some summer plans. Living in the Bywater for June and July, looking for a place to live in August. Prolly going to Boston/Philly in July. Trying to figure out how to sneak a Denver trip in there somewhere.

- Work work work work.

- Bike bike bike bike.

- Steve the cat is still adorable and soft.

Coming up this week:

- Move into new place.

- Move into new office.

- Tubing?!?!

- Go to California on Sunday. Daaaaaaaag yo.

- Profit!

Going on a year, starting to get sentimental

2009-05-01T15:29:00.003-04:00

It's been 11 months since I moved down here, and as if I needed to provide much more proof about what a great decision it was, I offer pieces of evidence, courtesy of the National Weather Service.

Philadelphia, today through Sunday night:

New Orleans, through Sunday night:

And oh yea, I'm seeing Neil Young for free on Sunday. Hey New Orleans, being a bad ass place to live - yr doin it right!

ANOTHER zombie apocalypse dream

2009-04-29T14:53:00.003-04:00

(For mystery and excitement, skip the first paragraph. Thrills!)

I have this unfortunate habit of not remembering my dreams. I will probably only remember one every couple of weeks or so. I apparently remember my dreams about the zombie apocalypse really well though, and I had another one last night.

In this one, I was living with some family (not mine) in San Francisco. I think I was part of their family, but I was still me. Anyways, I was out somewhere with some people, doing something anti-government (like protesting or something...protesting a zombie government?!) and all of a sudden the secret service was trying to kill all of us with sniper rifles. We all scattered, and I think they got some of us. They followed me in a black SUV with a sniper hanging out of the window. I got stuck at a busy intersection and one of my buddies was yelling at me for stopping and not running through the intersection. The secret service people got right next to me but I batted away the gun, and ran as fast as I could back to my house.

Somehow I knew that the zombie apocalypse was upon us, and when I got home my family wasn't there, but my brother's door was closed. He was kind of a dick, and was really all about his privacy, so the note on the door that said "There's Blood In There" didn't seem that off to me, because I thought he was just being snarky. I scrambled around the house gathering supplies and then our dog came in and started scratching at his door. Then my parents came home and I started to hear growling and moaning from his room. My parents didn't know what was happening, but luckily I had already grabbed my machete and when he busted out of the room, I swung at his head and knocked his head off right away. Then I scurried out of the house, evidently leaving my parents behind.

Then I met up with my friends and we got on a boat...or maybe an airplane. (It was at this point in the morning that Steve (the cat) started licking my face and trying to eat plastic in the garbage, so my memories become hazier of the dream from here on out.) We headed to this abandoned island not unlike this one that I read about yesterday. And....I think that was about it. But like I said before, I have lots of trouble remembering this shit in general so I'm surprised I remembered this much.

It just got really cold, it's about to start raining

2009-03-31T11:58:00.002-04:00

We've had some really beautiful weather here in NOLA recently - 70s, not too humid, bugs haven't come out yet, a little breezy, sunny a lot of the time. But then we'll have spells of three or four days in a row where it just rains and rains, which is bad when I have to bike everywhere. But alas, alas - first world problem.

In other, non-weather news, I've been reading a lot of really infuriating articles recently, and having impassioned discussions about how fucked up things are right now.

Exhibit A • Exhibit B • And most tragically, Exhibit C

But easily the most infuriating thing that I've read was this article from 1999, directly tracing the roots of this whole goddamned economic mess to one piece of legislation back, championed by actual human dildo Phil Gramm.

Wait wait - sorry, that's offensive to dildoes. Phil Gramm is actually rotted feces from space aliens, sent here to deregulate the financial sector in the name of a dead president whose asinine policies didn't actually work.

So, this article shows how one piece of legislation, in 1999, undid all the lessons we learned from the last financial collapse (you might of heard of that collapse, in Steinbeck novels, or if you're from Oklahoma). "The original idea behind [the] Glass-Steagall [Act of 1933] was that separation between bankers and brokers would reduce the potential conflicts of interest that were thought to have contributed to the speculative stock frenzy before the Depression."

Imagine that! And, what's this about a "speculative stock frenzy" thing? Surely no one, especially the government, would be silly enough to gamble away things like, say, peoples' life insurance based on the assumption that real estate prices and the stock market had no place to go but up, forever. Right?

Ah, crap.

What do you have to say for yourself, talking-space-alien-rotten-fecal-matter-turned-senator Phil Gramm? Got some pre-Bush freedom rhetoric to throw in, for good measure? "Glass-Steagall, in the midst of the Great Depression, came at a time when the thinking was that the government was the answer. In this era of economic prosperity, we have decided that freedom is the answer."

Well played, sir. So surely, everyone in the Senate was in agreement on this, Freedom For ~~Bankers~~ Us, and no one had the foresight to see this would actually happen...?

''I think we will look back in 10 years' time and say we should not have done this but we did because we forgot the lessons of the past, and that that which is true in the 1930's is true in 2010,'' said Senator Byron L. Dorgan, Democrat of North Dakota. ''I wasn't around during the 1930's or the debate over Glass-Steagall. But I was here in the early 1980's when it was decided to allow the expansion of savings and loans. We have now decided in the name of modernization to forget the lessons of the past, of safety and of soundness.''

Fuck!

Then, everyone's favorite non-Clinton-or-evil-robot-replacement-Clinton senatrix from New York, Chuck Schumer, just had to weigh in with some spineless liberal crap. "If we don't pass this bill, we could find London or Frankfurt or years down the road Shanghai becoming the financial capital of the world." DEAR GOD NOT SHANGHAI, THEY'RE EH-RABS....ER, COMMUNISS!

Okay, Preznint Clinton, time to weigh in. Put an end to this stupidity. Let's hear it! "The White House has estimated the legislation could save consumers as much as $18 billion a year as new financial conglomerates gain economies of scale and cut costs." Oh, that's good, we can put that $18 billion a year towards the $787 BILLION WE HAD TO SHELL OUT TO SAVE THESE FUCKERS.

I am done with this now. I have to go treat my ulcer.

Yea, no three hundo special, don't really feel like it

2009-03-13T15:57:00.005-04:00

Ok, so, I am avoiding doing work, so I am posting on here all the time. Eh, happens sometimes. I am getting a bit done here and there, but mostly I am enjoying this wonderful weather. It's in that magical temperate sweet spot where it's warm enough for shorts, but a light jacket or long sleeve shirt is still nice. Also, no bugs yet, which is going to be a big problem in a couple weeks. So, I am soaking it all in as much as I can.

Recently I am getting a little unhealthily obsessed with some female singer/songwriters. Okay, maybe just two - Des Ark and Madeline. I guess Des Ark is more of a band, but the singer plays solo a lot and I think she writes most of the songs.

So first, Des Ark: I saw them in a basement show in West Philly a couple years ago. It was just about the most hip I have ever been. I was also drinking a 40, naturally. I like that some of the stuff is really quiet, just her and her guitar really, but some of the other songs kinda rock pretty hard.

Choice lyric: "I was a ghost of a lover to you, I let you make up all this shit that was never true. I couldn't see you so I left you in the dark."

Next up, Madeline: I saw her on Monday at the Dragon's Den with my friend Breonne, who knew her from Athens (Georgia). Evidently she has been playing around Athens since she was like 15, and is still ridiculously young, but MAN. She was GREAT. Great vocals, great songs, great variety. Plus, her website is pretty great too.

Choice lyric: "I know you won't ever call me Baby like you used to, truth is, it turned out to be fitting. I know you won't ever remember just how gorgeous August was now that it's September."

So there's that.

</emo>

Post 300. Holy crap I had that much to say?

2009-03-10T17:27:00.003-04:00

So, post 300. It kinda snuck up on me. I don't have anything special planned, really. Ho hum. Maybe I will make a special 300th anniversary post on post 301.

I basically just popped in here to say thanks to everyone for their kind words and support. Things have gotten a bit better, though they are still swinging pretty wildly between manageable and not-so-manageable, seemingly within a single day.

I fixed my bike up pretty well, though I feel like this is just the tip of the iceberg on a whole round of maintenance I am going to have to do on it. Price I pay, I guess, but I'm happy to learn how to do this stuff. Makes me feel very virile.

The money situation is, of course, ongoing, but I finally got paid and I am trying my best to budget my money. It's going....okay. I guess I just can't exist with more than a hundred bux in my checking account. Eh whatever. I think I'll have a permanent spot on the overdraft train for quite a while.

Today as I was riding to work, I felt as though I'd just woken up from a terrible sleepwalk that was about three weeks long. Mardi Gras, all the crap I mentioned in my last post, visits from folks....

"I lost it. I lost it all - faith, dignity... about 15 pounds. I came to six months later and found that to my surprise, I had flunked out of college and was working in a record store."

Now it's back to real life. Or, as close to anything resembling life that is allowed to happen in New Orleans...

Raining, pouring...

2009-02-26T14:24:00.002-05:00

It seems like there are points in my life when everything is going right, and then times when everything seems to be going wrong. This, of course, is never true, but when either of those times come up, I think it's important to recognize them.

For me, it's easy to talk about when everything seems to be going wrong - this is just the time when I want sympathy, and help, and feel the most lonely. When everything is going right, I tend to take it for granted. I feel that I've been getting much better at recognizing when things are going right, and stopping for a second to make sure I realize it and appreciate it.

Right now is not one of those times, so I'm going to complain publicly for a few sentences.

KDHL and I broke up during Mardi Gras, twice. It was the messiest and most public breakup I've ever been a part of, and I realize that I handled it with less grace and humility than I've come to expect of myself, which is disappointing. I really don't know how to handle it from here, but I am doing my best and pulling strength from the great people around me, and from myself. It's been incredibly hard, and it makes me sad that this never gets any easier.

I am completely out of money, and my credit card has dried up. I am getting on track and working as much as I can, but this is a frustrating place to always be in.

I am getting quite sick. It probably has to do with the five straight days of drinking and emotional exhaustion. Again, I've beat these before and I'm sure I'll be able to again.

I cracked the fork on my precious, beautiful bike, so I have no real way of getting around. I will feel really good to fix it, and have that wondrous machine in tip top shape again.

But then, there are things that are going well - work is steady and keeps growing, and I'm beginning to feel that I really belong there. I am striking up new friendships, renewing old ones, and I can see how incredible lucky I am to know such amazing people. I am doing my best to thank those people whenever I can, and let them know how much I appreciate the support. If I haven't done so already, from the bottom of my heart - thank you, and I will do my best to tell you personally as soon as I can.

Just....just look.

2009-02-13T10:09:00.003-05:00

Behold!

The Church Of His Holy Beard: A beard of hope in these troubling times.

"Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shall thou mar the corners of thy beard." -Leviticus 19:27

Can we have another Bastille Day today?

2009-02-12T12:00:00.003-05:00

I hope Wonkette has Creative Commons or something, because this is brilliant, and I'm just pasting the third paragraph in. From this post.

Which leads us back to Michael Capuano’s rant today, about how he “thinks” credit default swaps and such are “illegal” — it is his opinion! — and “cannot believe” that people who’ve used them haven’t been prosecuted. Well let us help you figure out why, Mister Congressman! Here’s the roll call for a House bill called “Making Appropriations for Labor, Health and Human Services for Fiscal Year 2001″ that President Clinton signed into law on December 21, 2000. You voted for it! And included in this package was something called the “Commodity Futures Modernization Act of 2000,” the one that — thanks to Alan Greenspan’s weird, intrusive lobbying efforts — completely deregulated the derivatives market. So that is probably why these bankers haven’t been prosecuted.

Today's edition of "What Were You Doing Instead Of Work"

2009-02-05T16:59:00.001-05:00

Full text of an IM conversation with my old college roommate Drew. This is exactly how two years of college went.

Drew Stephan
i think patrick duffy is sitting in the courtyard of this coffee shop

Drew Lazor
pic pic pic pic pic

Drew Stephan
i don't have a camera!

Drew Lazor
phone!
COME ON
WTF
how have you not taken his picture
take it take it take it take it

Drew Stephan
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Qzd9HIsRWeA/R9XoxGoNn-I/AAAAAAAAG5g/XN0kvyUYo5A/s400/Patrick%2BDuffy.jpg

Drew Lazor
ive seen that one so many times, need new content!
dude if you are in the sam eplace as patrick duffy and you do not a) talk to him or b) at least get his picture
you will regret it for the REST OF YOUR LIFE

Drew Stephan
i can't get it!
he's too far away and my phone camera is SHITE
dammit!
ok i've been stealing furtive glances at him

Drew Stephan
and i googled pictures of duffy these days

Drew Lazor
go talk to him right now

Drew Lazor
RIGHT NOW

Drew Stephan
it's not him!
it's not him
but he looks an awful lot like him

Drew Lazor
youre just saying that bc youre a puss

Drew Stephan
hahahah
not true

Drew Lazor
go talk to frank lambert NOW

Drew Stephan
heheheeheheh
i think he's just some random euro guy with a younger male companion

Drew Lazor
thats totally patrick duffy!!!

Drew Stephan
hahahahah
is duffy married? this guy has a ring
WIKIPEDIA GOOOOO
ooo he has the same birthday as pat stephan

Drew Lazor
hes married to his craft

Drew Lazor
dude if that is patrick duffy and you dont talk to him im going to be SO MAD

Drew Stephan
dude thank god for the multiple search bars in firefox

Drew Stephan
so i don't have to keep typing in PATRICK DUFFY
HAHAHAHHA
Birth Name
Patrick G. Duffy

Nickname
Pat
The Duffster
The Duff Man
ok, he's married
ok ok i'm going to go the bathroom and try to nab a pic of him on the way back
brb

Drew Lazor
YESSSSSSS

Drew Stephan
ok ok def not duffy

Drew Lazor
ok that is really fucked up man
how you gonna tell me something like that without being sure
im really really upset now.

Drew Stephan
i walked right next to him!
and i heard him talking!
he was not bobby ewing at all
OR frank lambert

Drew Lazor
im weeping

Drew Stephan
as i tried to take the pic i think i hit a 6 on my phone
and it took 6 pics
and made the camera sound every time
i will never be a spy

Once monthly post!

2009-01-26T15:15:00.005-05:00

So, I promise that I have not been deliberately avoiding you, little ol' bloggy blog. It's just...things have been crazy...I've been working a lot....and you know, sometimes I just don't the same way about you that I did.

No no, I still like you, it's just...different.

Ahem. Well.

In a soul-bearing act of confession rarely seen in the declining dead end of Western civilization, I am admitting that I look way too hipster today. From head to toe, what I am wearing.

-- Aloof haircut that is really just the leftovers of another haircut, performed in a bathroom.

-- Kanye sunglasses (not the super 80s ones, but like these:

)

-- Pink/salmon/fuchsia (I'm color blind) Members Only jacket:

-- Snap-button plaid Western shirt

-- Thrift store "Let's Get Physical" T-shirt

-- Relatively tight, very light blue jeans (with bike chain grease)

-- Saucony Jazz sneakers

And...do you even need to ask? Yes, it was all purchased at thrift stores - various ones in Philly, Denver, New Orleans and Chile.

This is just fucked up

2008-12-19T19:45:00.001-05:00

I go back to New England on Sunday.

No no, Massachusetts, YOU fuck off.

Do not fuck with BofA.

2008-12-09T12:43:00.004-05:00

Ok, so Wonkette is already covering this a little bit, but check out how fucked up this is. My conspiracydar is picking up massive bleeps, sweeps and creeps.

Yesterday, Bank of America cut off a line of credit to Illinois-based Republic Windows & Doors, a failing company that makes, uh, auto parts and blenders, I think. The loss of credit forced the company to cut off benefits and pay to 250 workers who were in the midst of a sit-in.

This prompted Illinois Governor Rod, uh, spelling....Blagejodsfuidf.....Blagejlkadjflsakdf...copyandpastego! Rod Blagojevich to threaten BofA with knives, swords, and a halt to all state dealings with the gigantor bank. Economics experts said that the move could set a bad ~~president~~ precedent for states meddling in private sectors' affairs. But it was just a threat, so everyone was kinda whatevz.

Except the BofA gestapo. They were decidedly un-whatevz, according to the finest conspiracy theorists out there.

Today, the FBI showed up at Rod "Consonants" Blagojevich's house and arrested him for eleventy billion crimes, including trying to sell Barry Hussein's vacated senate seat to the highest bidder (maybe even giving it to himself, for Festivus!), appointing himself to the head of a non-profit with a $150,000 salary, illegally threatening to withhold state assistance to the now-bankrupt Tribune Company, and blowing up the Death Star.

Rod is officially going to be sleeping with the fishes at the bottom of Lake Michigan by next Monday.

So, BofA, about my staggering credit card debt to you...I'll get you the money by Friday, and you don't care how I get the money, you just want it...? Yea I'm cool with that, of course. English? Yea, I speak it, and yes I'm a motherfucker....

Big news!

2008-11-20T11:54:00.002-05:00

I was at the New Orleans Public Library the other day, and there are many things afoot at that fine institution!!!!

Actually, not really, it's basically the same as the last time I was there a couple months ago. There was, however, one GIANT change -

THEY HAVE DOORS ON THE STALLS IN THE MENS' BATHROOM.

Yep, you read that right. I know!! These are exciting times in New Orleans!!!!

Also, Cory's flight couldn't land last night at Louis Armstrong International Airport because the runway lights were out.

Le sigh, I live in a second world country.

Dear My Neighbor With The Goth Band

2008-11-13T19:15:00.003-05:00

Hi. How are you? I've seen you lurking around your half of the house a few times. You look to be about my age - maybe a little older. It sounds like you're learning to play guitar. That's awesome! The guitar is a wonderful instrument, and you'll be better off for having learned how to play. As a self-taught guitarist myself, I thought I could offer some constructive criticism based on what I hear through the wall of my house -

Amplifiers provide tremendous flexibility and versatility for your sound, and give you many ways to manipulate effects. Learning to play guitar with the volume at 8 doesn't necessarily mean you're getting better, though!

Practice does indeed make perfect. However, playing the same three notes in a row that don't sound good the first time aren't going to sound good if you play them for 20 minutes straight!

Although it's a useful tuning sometimes, Drop D doesn't sound as cool as you think! It mostly just sounds like Limp Bizkit and Korn. Maybe the Deftones. So: use it sparingly, not on every song!

Late night sessions are great, and being in a band often means late nights. Contrary to what you believe, though, starting practice at 10:30 pm every Sunday night and playing until 1:00 am doesn't constitute a late night rocking out (or whatever the crap you goths do)!

Okay, great! I'm glad we had this talk. I trust that you will start wearing earphones when you play on your amp, and you guys will start practice before 10:30 pm now. Best of luck on the road to fame, fortune, and snarky t-shirts at Hot Topic!

Love,
Your next-door neighbor Drew

Hurray for living in one of four states that voted MORE REPUBLICAN than last time!

2008-11-12T15:43:00.004-05:00

GO LOUISIANA! WE LOST, BUT WE'RE STILL WINNERS.

So that guy Obama won, weeeoooo. Or something. Hope, change, blah blah - as always, The Onion nails it more than anyone.

Another interesting story is about how gun sales have skyrocketed in the past two months, especially since the election. Much of the story focuses on Texas, which actually voted more Democratic than the last election.

"People are terrified of losing their right to protect themselves," said DeWayne Irwin, owner of Cheaper Than Dirt, a large gun store in Fort Worth. "The volume is 10 times what we ever expected. It started with assault rifles, but at this point, people are buying ammunition, high capacity magazines, Glocks -- it's all flying off the shelf.

Uhhhh yea. The article also notes that most people are stocking up because they think Obama will take away their second amendment rights, but "A few say they are preparing to protect themselves in the event of a race war."

Oh! And remember when Barry said that there were a bunch of folks out there who were clinging to their guns and religion - the "bitters" as Wonkette soon affectionately dubbed them? Who knew you could cling to both under the same roof.

At the Memorial Shooting Center in Houston, a popular gun store and firing range that shares a building with a church, managers said they sold out their stock of assault weapons a day after the election and are now adding orders, at more than $1,000 each, to a monthlong waiting list.

Mm hmm! Gotta defend my home from the Moolims that Barr Ack Oh Bama is gonna be lettin' in!

In other news, this:

Happy Not A Father's Day!

Well, I can put my Red Sox hat away again

2008-10-20T10:23:00.003-04:00

What a relief. I couldn't deal with more postseason. Plus, it was getting expensive to keep going out to bars to watch games. However, the sentiment remains - fuckin sox d00d.

In other news, there's a presidential campaign going on! I don't if anyone else but me heard about it - it's kind of a secret. Big news out of Camp Obama yesterday and today - former Bush apologist and probably also secret Muslim terrorist (it's because he's black!) Colin Powell endorsed Obama. Obama giddily responded that Powell could "come over for tea" any time and that he could "borrow my Big Wheel" if he were so inclined.

But for serious, Powell said amazing stuff in his endorsement, and it's really refreshing to hear some well-thought out arguments for making a decision, rather than the knee jerk, shoot from the hip mentality that both McCain and Obama have been employing. Specifically, I was blown away to hear Powell say this:

Powell also said he was troubled that some Republicans — he excluded McCain — continue to say or allow others to say that Obama is a Muslim, when he is a Christian. Such rhetoric is polarizing, he said.

"He's always been a Christian. But the really right answer is, what if he is? Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country? The answer's no, that's not America," Powell said. "Is there something wrong with some 7-year-old Muslim-American kid believing that he or she could be president?"

Take some cajones to come out and say that these days. Of course, it sent the Real Americans into an epithet-laced torrent of verbal diarrhea, which always reminds how lucky I am to not live in Alabama.

The other news is that Barry shattered his own fundraising record by raising $150 MILLION DOLLARS (count all those zeroes: $150,000,000) in September. Damn son.

"Obama" is Arabic for "Jordan"

2008-10-16T14:32:00.003-04:00

October 29th, during Barry's block of primetime, 3:1 he just comes out and starts cold drainin threes and then brings out Bron Bron and let's him win at HORSE so that Hussein can shore up the Ohio vote. Cuz we know Barry could beat Bron with one hand behind his terrorist secret Muslim back.

Have you seen this shit yet?

2008-09-30T14:14:00.004-04:00

Blingee - guaranteed to make you waste at least 30 minutes a pop.

Unfortunately, I WASN'T floating out to sea on a raft

2008-09-25T13:24:00.005-04:00

Phew! Long break.

Ok, so!

New Orleans did not get washed away in Hurricane Gustav. (Buzzing and general approval from the crowd.) A whole mess of issues were raised during the evacuation though, namely because the shelters that people went to within Louisiana had really shitty conditions, and the people who were in these shelters (of course!) were the poorest New Orleanians, who continue to get the shaft from every single facet of our society. You know, because they're poor and therefore not human beings. I'm sure they're just lazy and not a product of a fundamentally unfair system that's designed on every level to keep them out of any process that would allow them to accumulate the means or abilities to seize any meaningful power or position in said system...

But I digress.

To that end, I've started reading Rules for Radicals by Saul Alinsky. It really and truly is a must-read for anyone interested in doing organizing on any level, even if you just go through the whole thing shouting, "No no NO Alinsky, you're wrong!", because he brings up so many specific examples and situations that you have to think about all of it and form your own opinions and stances.

The rest of my trip out West was fantastic. San Francisco seemed like an amazing place during the 18 hours I spent there, and I can't wait to go back and spend some real time there. I put my feet in the Pacific though, so I consider the trip a success. Camping in Yosemite was amazing - we hiked Half Dome, which was absolutely breathtaking. We saw this on the way up:

It was a round trip of 17 miles, and I got blisters, and my legs hurt for days, and I was terrified of the last bit of the climb, but it was totally worth it. Pictures are up on the face book.

Last weekend we went to Austin to visit Kri, which was also really great. Nine hours of driving each way, but definitely a really fun time with KDHL and her roommate Elizabeth. We went to a pirate party on international talk like a pirate day, went swimming in Barton Springs, drove and walked around different parts of the city, and just had a pretty rad time. Definitely a chill city and I can see the appeal to many people - but I definitely missed the grit and hanging sense of danger that I've gotten used to over the past 6+ years of living in Philly and New Orleans.

So now, it's back to New Orleans. I now have two part-time jobs doing web development, one for a small design shop doing consulting and product support work, which is fun and fairly easy, and one which I start tomorrow with a tech collective developing whole web sites, mostly for non-profits and other progressive-minded folks. Both are going well, and getting paid is pretty rad. I even bought a toaster the other day!

Other than that, I've just been living over at Wonkette and following the stupidity of the elections. Samantha and I might start blogging funny political stuff over at Sir Not Appearing - we'll see though.

Ok, go go gadget readership spike!

Not that I fool myself into thinking anyone might still read this....

2008-08-31T18:24:00.005-04:00

So, I'm sitting high and dry in Denver right now - a trip I planned over a month ago, but one that is turning out to be a fortuitous and prescient decision. I have been speaking with many people in New Orleans, and most people have left, headed to Memphis and Austin and Covington and Shreveport and Mississippi. My roommate is still in our apartment along with Steve, my cat. He is planning on making a decision about whether or not to leave very soon, and if he does he's leaving lots of food and water out for her.

KDHL is staying in the city. She is holing up at the house of the woman she works for, a sturdy house in a neighborhood that didn't flood in Katrina. They have lots of food and water, as well as a generator. Plus, KDHL has read The Zombie Survival Guide several times, so she should be fine.

I'm nervous for New Orleans. Another major flood could be the end of that wondrous and seemingly doomed city. I can't even begin to imagine the strength it took for people to come back after Katrina, but I don't know that anyone is strong enough to do it twice. To see the grim determination in spite of dampened spirits of all those thousands affected three years ago has been one of the most inspiring things I've ever witnessed - but the threadbare courage in the face of a city government determined to make less affluent leave and a state and federal government indifferent (at best) to their struggles can only last for so long.

As for me? My house is in a low-lying area that used to be right next to a marsh, so if there's any flooding it will almost certainly get water. I live on the second floor, so the apartment itself should be fine. Getting to the apartment, however, could be another issue. If it gets bad down there, I will go back and help - if anyone is interested in helping this time around. I like to think there will be.

For now, I will try to distract myself and not think about the two most important women in my life, toughing it out down there.

"The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway
Is that it's you, and that you're standing in the doorway.
And you smile as you ease the gun from my hand,
And I'm frozen with joy right where I stand."

- "Going To Georgia" by The Mountain Goats

There is indeed beauty as well as blood in life's ocean of disasters

2008-08-19T17:37:00.002-04:00

And you scream that it's been forever since
You witnessed blue skies
But trust me when I say that,
"Yes, this too will pass"
It will quiet
Literally nothing stays the same
Just look to the clouds and you shall see
Always changing forever moving on again and again
Life's one worthwhile guarantee.

- "Place In The Sun" by Bane (off of It All Comes Down To This)

Fear and Loathing

2008-07-30T10:51:00.002-04:00

I just wanted to reaffirm my love for Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, both the book and movie. I was looking at ye olde Myspace profile, and found this little nugget that I stashed for myself at some point, to remind me of why I believe what I do and do the work that I do:

"There was madness in any direction, at any hour. If not across the Bay, then up the Golden Gate or down 101 to Los Altos or La Honda... You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning..."

I want to feel like that some day.

That book gets a bad rap from some people because of the ridiculous and outrageous drug use that fuels most of the action in the plot. While this is true, and I certainly can't just play it off, I always make the argument that Thompson and and Oscar Zeta Acosta (his attorney on his real life trip) knew _exactly_ what they were doing, and the subtitle of the book, "A Savage Journey To The Heart Of The American Dream," was more than a glib poke at one our most sacred collective visions. He really was attempting to hunt down the vision of Horatio Alger to see if it still existed - or, even more startlingly, if it _ever_ existed.

To me, Thompson was really after this just as much as he was after the biggest high of his life. He was caught in the giant hangover from the sixties, deep in the quagmire of Vietnam, stuck in the middle of a country trying to figure out exactly what was going on, where it was headed, where it had been, whether its two hundred year old values were still right. So he went on a trip to Vegas for a couple days and he brought a whole trunk load of drugs.

Of course, maybe I'm full of shit. I usually am.

"But our trip was different. It was a classic affirmation of everything right and true and decent in the national character. It was a gross, physical salute to the fantastic _possibilities_ of life in this country - but only for those with true grit. And we were chock full of that."

"The TV news was about the Laos Invasion-a series of horrifying disasters: explosions and twisted wreckage, men fleeing in terror, Pentagon generals babbling insane lies. 'Turn that shit off!' screamed my attorney. 'Lets get out of here!'"

"The Circus-Circus is what the whole hep world would be doing Saturday night if the Nazis had won the war. This is the sixth Reich. The ground floor is full of gambling tables, like all the other casinos . . . but the place is about four stories high, in the style of a circus tent, and all manner of strange County-Fair/Polish Carnival madness is going on up in this space."

"What was I doing here? What was the meaning of this trip? Was I just roaming around in a drug frenzy of some kind? Or had I really come out here to Las Vegas to work on a story? Who are these people, these faces? Where do they come from? They look like caricatures of used car dealers from Dallas, and sweet Jesus, there were a hell of a lot of them at 4:30 on a Sunday morning, still humping the American dream, that vision of the big winner somehow emerging from the last minute pre-dawn chaos of a stale Vegas casino."

"It seems like a lifetime, or at least a Main Era — the kind of peak that never comes again. San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run... but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world."

"And that, I think, was the handle — that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn't need that. Our energy would simply PREVAIL. There was no point in fighting — on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave..."

"Reading the front page made me feel a lot better. Against that heinous background, my crimes were pale and meaningless. I was a relatively respectable citizen — a multiple felon, perhaps, but certainly not dangerous. And when the Great Scorer came to write against my name, that would surely make a difference."

"I felt like a monster reincarnation of Horatio Alger: A man on the move, and just sick enough to be totally confident."

Well then

2008-07-21T10:02:00.004-04:00

Whoa, okay. So it's been a minute. And even though I was feeling the fake pressure of having a stagnant blog breathing down my neck like a fat guy craving my krispy kreme, I just couldn't bring myself to actually update. So here I am, late as always.

Boston was amazing. I always love that town for a week and a half, and then I'm really glad when I leave. As a whole, I'm closer with people from there than anywhere else, mostly because I've known them for longer than anyone else, but there's just something about that town that gets old to me after 10 days. Probably all the white folks and total lack of crime. I need danger...nay, I demand it!

Also as per usual, our Space Machine parties were stellar and lasted long into the night. The Goodbye, Paul Tilley Weenie Roast and Paul Tilley Roast was a great time, especially seeing Paul so fucking embarrassed. What an asshole. The Drukkake reunion/Zombie Apocalypse party was also So Good.

Other than that, I am in yet another transitional period - looking for a new place to live and a new job. I should know where I'll be living after today, which will be nice. In a kind of sadistic way, I like looking for apartments. It's pretty cool to envision myself living in all these different places and meeting different people, etc etc. But, it's also really stressful and I'm always pretty happy when the whole thing is over. And hopefully that Day is today. The job front is just starting to heat up, so nothing to report there.

Finally, lots of people are coming to New Orleans to visit soon! The Thrash Boys, aka Ramming Speed, will be here this week, for a day or two. Trouble. August 4th, Dr. Robbottomly will be here for a week and we'll have sweaty man hugs. Then, I just found out that my new friend Rachel will be here in the middle of August. So many Boston visitors at the most miserable time of the summer! Makes sense to me...

you don't meet nice girls in coffee shops

2008-07-02T11:39:00.002-04:00

I'm going to see Tom Waits tonight, in Mobile, Alabama. (In case I didn't already post this, this video about the tour is really amazing.) This will be my first time in Alabama as far as I know and my first time seeing Tom Waits. Dude tours so infrequently that I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't see again, either. Though I feel like he's looked and sounded like he was on death's door for years.

My director made a good point about this concert - Waits doesn't even necessarily need to _do_ anything or sing _any_ songs, and I'm sure it'd be entertaining as hell. He could just come out with a pack of cigarettes and snifter of brandy and say (in that gravelly, I've-seen-the-whole-world snarl), "I don't feel like singing tonight. We're just gonna talk for three hours," and we'd all eat it up. (See for reference this interview he did. Imagine listening to him say "Me and my wife on Rte. 66 with a pot of coffee, a cheap guitar, pawnshop tape recorder in a Motel 6, and a car that runs good parked right by the door" in person?!?!)

Then, tomorrow, I head up to Boston for 11 days. Just when I'm settling into a groove here....

Luckily when I get back it'll be even more humid and disgusting than it is currently.

Downtown public library, Loyola and Tulane, 5:21 pm

2008-06-26T18:21:00.003-04:00

So as I reach the end of my second week of vagrancy in New Orleans, I think it's safe to say I've become a regular at the downtown library. I am officially:

Tall, skinny guy with the mohawk, glasses and flip flops who types too loudly on his obviously expensive computer, which he props up with his wallet.

Other regulars include:

- Old guy with the matted beard who can't quite raise his head all the way and pants that are cuffed really high (he sat at my table today)

- Really old woman who shuffles very slowly and wears the same shirt every day, and is morally opposed to any support for her still-ample bosom

- Tall guy with the baseball hat who sits in the one window seat with an outlet next to it, hunched over a cell phone for hours at a time

- Middle aged woman with the coke bottle glasses and varying array of cat and kitten t-shirts

'Tis a long and illustrious line indeed.

Inspired

2008-06-24T14:58:00.004-04:00

I was inspired by the nice comments from Mo and Carly to look up this quote that I've been thinking about this whole during this whole moving process.

It's from Travels with Charley by John Steinbeck, in which he chronicles a trip around the country that he took with his poodle, Charley, in 1959-1960. During his journey, he continually talks with people so that he might check the pulse of the nation. At one point he notes:

"I saw in their eyes something I was to see over and over in every part of the nation - a burning desire to go, to move, to get under way, anyplace, away from any Here."

The other quotes that have constantly come to mind are from Vonnegut:

"Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God." (from Cat's Cradle)

"Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them—in order that the reader may see what they are made of." (from his "Eight Basics of Creative Writing")

Sunday night, Race and Magazine: small coffee for here

2008-06-22T21:21:00.004-04:00

I needed to get out of the house, so I'm drinking coffee at the cafe near my house. This seems like an okay idea.

Actually, this is foolproof. No way this can fail.

So this weekend has been another fun fest. I'm still reeling from last night. This is a dangerous city that way - the bars don't ever have to close (except midnight to 1 am on Ash Wednesday), there's no such thing as an open container law, and they have a WHOLE FUCKING AISLE OF HOOCH AT RITE AID.

I rode my bike real fucking far last night, pretty stupidly too. (Ah, where would I be without you, Google maps.) I was at a real good bar and left to go to a show where I didn't even go in. Along the way I hit a pot hole and my chain came off. I turned the bike upside down after 20 minutes of struggling, got the shit back on...and didn't realize until I got to the show that I dumped out my lock when I turned my bike upside down. I went back today, though, and I totally found it! Everything's coming up Milhouse!

(PS whilst looking for a clip of that phrase, I found this article, which is basically the best thing ever.)

Beyond that, I just can't get over how really amazingly nice the people are here, and how much they love just talking to you about shit. Coming from Boston by way of Philly, this is disconcerting (in the best way possible), but I'm really starting to get into it.

I think I'm going to be really happy here. I need to start getting my hands dirty pretty soon, but that will come in time - it's hard to avoid here. And I'm not trying to avoid it.

Yes, this will be a good place for me.

Roadtrip ought-eight

2008-06-13T13:07:00.000-04:00

So!

I made it to New Orleans safe and sound, and much quicker than I had anticipated. I made stops in Asheville, Nashville and Memphis, and I'm really glad that I took the time to do that. I have no idea how much time I actually spent in the car or how many cups of coffee and energy drinks I had, but I do know that I traveled 1,531 miles in 44 hours, with some stops and a little bit of sleeping mixed in.

Thanks to all you who listened to me blabber on during the drive - the road is a lonely place, and the sea is a cruel mistress.

Here are a couple of pics - a little tease tease for the taste buds. If I ever get my act together, I will post the rest on Facebook.

The hills in Tennessee going toward Asheville:

Skeptical and haggard after 5 straight hours of driving:

Cutest kitten evar (his name is Toby!!!), Kirsten's house in Asheville:

View from Broadway, downtown Asheville:

Fireworks supermarket, East Bumfuck, TN:

Cumberland River, Nashville, TN:

Broadway, Nashville, TN:

Riverfront Drive/Mississippi River, Memphis, TN:

Beale Street, Memphis, TN:

One of Elvis' jets at Graceland (I didn't go in):

Welcome to Louisiana!

Onslaught of posts!

2008-06-04T14:50:00.003-04:00

As my dear friend Nick Norlen pointed out to me in college, during the very best years of our slackerdom, "Procrastination begets progress in other areas of life." Truer words were never spoken by a man with a degree in communications and minors in english and philosophy.

So here I am, with so much work on my plate and so much packing to do, dicking around on this website with Samkinggrrr:

http://www.barackobamaantichrist.blogspot.com/

It's unbelievable. At one point, one of the authors or a commenter or something makes this astounding leap of logic:

the more info I find on him the more I feel with all my heart he is the anti christ! One example is his blatent name... it's almost as god himself has made it sooo ironically obvious that something is definetly up, I mean come on people Obama is about as close as you can get to Osama... Barack means blessed, and Hussein will always be associated with Saddam. Not only that weird coincidence, but if you add all the letters of his name together you get 18...which in turn you could come to the conclusion that 6+6+6=18

(Ed. note: Freudian slip much? When I was coding that blockquote a second ago, I wrote "blackquote". Lolz.)

So, Samkinggrr and I decided to write some haiku about Obama strictly in 6 character groupings.

hecame fromth esea!!
belove dshark GODorD EVIL??
repent voteMc Cain!!

themar kofthe beast!
ontheD emball ot0h8:
barack hussie NObama

Obama? Nothan ks!!!!
NObama ismore likeit. Change?
Ha!!!! Ifyoul ikeHel l!!!!!

Hussei nisana aaaame
ThatBa rocksh areswi thaman
Whoist hedevi l!!!!!

barack obama-
antich ristwe waited foooor
speaki nginsi xxxxxs

Fifty on red, better be right!

2008-06-03T11:43:00.001-04:00

The rest of the pics will be up on the book of faces quite soon...

Final week

2008-06-02T11:30:00.002-04:00

So this is my last week in Philadelphia. Come Sunday, I will depart for my new life in New Orleans. This very much snuck up on me, and I have many, many things to take care of before I go and many people to see for a proper sendoff.

Physical appearance updates: I no longer have any facial hair. I also have significantly less hair - the remaining hair is in the form of a mohawk. Pictures to follow shortly.

In case you were wondering (I know you're desperate for information), I am 100% freaking out. Eating has been difficult, sleeping next to impossible, and I feel like I'm just barely holding it together. I know everything will be fine and I am still super excited about finally doing this, but I just know this week is going to be hellish.

One more week.

"So let us drink
To the dreams
And the dreamers
Long dead and gone
Between us.
Line up the shots
For every fight
We've fought and lost."

- "Crooked Mile" by Planes Mistaken For Stars (from Mercy)

Cindo de Mustache! final submission

2008-05-19T12:00:00.002-04:00

So here I am entering Week Three with this ridiculous mustache.

My life is a joke.

Silly disputes

2008-05-16T10:51:00.006-04:00

So if anyone's been following the news lately, there's been a lot going on. I don't really feel like getting into too much, but a bunch of people died in southeast Asia and the gays are taking over the world.

But the thing that caught my ear yesterday was the back and forth about a veiled attack President Bush laid out in a speech in Israel's Knesset. Though he and his minions denied it later, the comments sounded suspiciously like calling Barack Obama a Nazi sympathizer for considering opening talks with Iran.

First, he equated Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad with Hamas, Hezbollah and Osama bin Laden. Then: "Some seem to believe we should negotiate with terrorists and radicals, as if some ingenious argument will persuade them they have been wrong all along. We have heard this foolish delusion before. As Nazi tanks crossed into Poland in 1939, an American senator declared: 'Lord, if only I could have talked to Hitler, all of this might have been avoided.' We have an obligation to call this what it is -- the false comfort of appeasement."
(from MSNBC.com)

(Fun fact: The senator he mentions was actually a Republican. Lolz.)

This of course led to cannon fire from the USS Obama, then defensive maneuvering from Senior Distraction Expert and White House Press Secretary Dana Perino, then incessant swearing from Delaware's own Joe Biden - or as I like to call him, Dover's Finest.

"Biden said, 'This is bullshit. This is malarky. This is outrageous.' "

Some people didn't like this for some reason. He went on:

" 'He is the guy who has weakened us,' he said. 'He has increased the number of terrorists in the world. It is his policies that have produced this vulnerability that the U.S. has. It’s his [own] intelligence community [that] has pointed this out, not me.' "

Bang-a-rang, Biden-o!

He then grabbed onto a vine and swung across the Senate floor, where he jumped on his skateboard, rode up an 8 foot ramp, nailed a backside 540 and then skated off into the sunset.

Day 5: Let's do this

2008-05-09T12:23:00.000-04:00

Stay classy, America.

Days 3/4: Fully Loaded

2008-05-08T13:22:00.004-04:00

Again, not really that bad of a facial hair set up. Now, if you'll excuse me I have to go solve crimes with Starsky.

Day 2: Electric Bugaloo

2008-05-06T15:10:00.002-04:00

I'm actually really starting to like these mustaches pretty quickly - the initial absurdity is wearing off more quickly than I thought it would.

Thanks for ruining the sanctity of this picture, Mo.

Feliz Cinco de Mustache!

2008-05-05T19:57:00.004-04:00

Heyooooo!!! Week of Mustache begins today!!

Additionally, I went to see Bane last night. No head wounds this time, but a nasty-looking (but not at all nasty-feeling) neck thing. Latest in a series, I suppose.

Another one for the "oh hey, no shit!" file

2008-04-30T23:44:00.001-04:00

File under "we figured this out five years ago, why didn't you?"

White House admits fault on 'Mission Accomplished' banner.

Strange bedfellows

2008-04-24T20:13:00.002-04:00

So in the past eight nights, I have spent the night in eight different places.

Wednesday 4/16 - My bed in Philly

Thursday 4/17 - Amtrak, between Philly and Boston

Friday 4/18 - Hotel, Gardner, MA

Saturday 4/19 - Space Machine, Somerville, MA

Sunday 4/20 - Stephan household, Northboro, MA

Monday 4/21 - Nate's house, Boston, MA

Tuesday 4/22 - Paul's house, Boston, MA

Wednesday 4/23 - John's house, Cambridge, MA

Tonight might also be spent at John's house, thus breaking this unlikely and dubiously distinctive streak. Friday night will almost certainly be spent in NYC at Crystal's house, so if I can find another place tonight that would make ten places in ten nights. I kinda wanna make it happen.

Help save the youth of America

2008-04-22T15:04:00.005-04:00

Blogging from Boston. Being out for 2 days = several hundred emails that require my IMMEDIATE attention from work. As much as I do still enjoy my job in many ways, I can safely say that I won't mind being out of that spotlight for a while. As patient as I like to think I am, it has gotten to me at times, and this past weekend was one of those times.

The wedding was very nice, and it went off without a hitch. KDHL and I got shitty with my brother on Friday night, and then woke up late and took our time on Saturday morning, then had to get ready and pack all our shit up in about 4 minutes, so we showed up dead last to the ceremony, looking great but also sweaty and clearly very hungover. It only lasted about 20 minutes (which should be the time limit on weddings, btw), then we were at the reception for a few hours, which was pretty fun. Our wedding gift was a Slip n Slide and water balloons. Those will obv come in handy.

Saturday night was the Too Soon party at the Space Machine, and it went swimmingly. Not too many people there, but everyone who was there was pretty quality and there were some really good costumes. Pictures will appear somewhere at some point...maybe. Cory slept on top of the washer and dryer and we hung out on the porch all day Sunday, fratting it up.

All in all, a pretty amazing time so far and I look forward to the next week and a half. Going to Red Sox games tonight and Thursday, probably going to NYC on Friday. Busy busy!

Also, I've been reading this dude Aaron Cometbus, an author that Mo just turned me on to. I'm reading his book "Double Duce" and loving it. I read this passage this morning and thought I'd share it with everyone, since it seemed to strike a chord with me.

Willey started talking again about marriage, raising a family, and moving to Montana. Of course, that was my worst nightmare. My inner grandfather had an entirely different take on things.

"Family, Aaron, is not you and a punk girl in a dumpster. Neither is it isolation and self-sufficiency on a farm in Bumfuck, Nowhere. Family is the great family of man. Family is the strangers passing on the street in the city, mutual respect and subtle interdependence. Settling down means becoming comfortable with yourself and your role in society, not selling out. Why can't you be more like Gorky? Focus your creativity to give birth to something you can be proud of, something which would make your poor grandfather embarrassed but make society as a whole more understanding and inspired."

Space shuttles!

2008-04-15T09:51:00.004-04:00

KDHL is here tomorrow. I think that will be a fun time. It's going to be a busy weekend, though. She gets here tomorrow night, we run around Philly on Thursday, have dinner on Thursday night with her family, grab a train to Boston at midnight, get into Northboro around 9 a.m., go up to Gardner in the afternoon to hang with my family at the place where my sister's getting married, go to my sister's wedding on Saturday morning, go into Boston on Saturday night, party our faces off at the Space Machine, then KDHL heads home on Sunday night. Phew!

Then I'm up in Boston for about two weeks, with a quick little jaunt to NYC to see Crystal and Wes, then it's back to Philly for about a month, then it's New Orleans. Phew!

I'm excited for this Boston trip. It will probably be the last time I see most of those kids, as well as the fam, for a while. I'm glad that I'm getting a chance to spend some quality time with them, even if they're going to try to make me drink to forget most of it.

Bigger than guns, bigger than cigarettes

2008-04-10T13:31:00.005-04:00

Quick post today -

Going a protest in about an hour for Casino Free Philadelphia, which should be really good. We have a giant papier mache replica of Gov. Ed Rendell's head (which is actually to scale, I think), and we're going to debate it. It's symbolic, see, because he hasn't answered any serious questions about the _real_ cost of casinos. Hopefully we'll get some good media coverage, but one of their reports already has which is rad.

Also, I think I'm just ridiculously behind the times, but I saw this video for the first time the other day, and I couldn't stop being really jealous that they were having so much fun. Dudes rehearsed for eight days and then filmed this in one take. Video evidently cost five bux to make.

Also, every once in a while I have to be reminded of the genius that is Peter Gabriel.

Who are the ad wizards....

2008-04-04T16:46:00.002-04:00

So I just saw a commercial for an acid reflux medicine called "AcipHex." All well and good, until they pronounce the name of the product. They run the "pH" into an "f". Sooooo yea. Um, do they have anyone on their ad team under the age of 60? Or anyone with hearing?

Because when you add in that "f" sound, your product, d-bags, is "Ass Effects."

BUCKETS OF WIN.

A Monday blog that's so hungover it can't even get up till Thursday

2008-04-02T19:06:00.004-04:00

So here's the much-delayed blog post - I love how much I felt what Drew calls the "fake pressure" of the blog world. I really felt like I wanted to write here really badly, but I just couldn't get around to it. I had "work" to do or something like that. So yea - back off.

I'm live blogging from my back yard, where Steve the Cat is meandering about amongst the ruins of the weekend's party. The remnants of six cases of beer, a bunch of trash, more cigarette butts than I care to think about - overall, the party was, I believe, a rousing success. Boston came down with furious vengeance, and also ridiculous drinking and chain-smoking, and we had some very scantily-clad men and well-dressed women prancing about the newly-labeled "Time Machine." Pictures are on the Book of Faces, and I think I'm friends with most of y'all out there, so check 'em out.

Ok, so - as I think most of you know, the main reason I've been antsy lately (as was mentioned a little while ago) is that I've decided to leave my job sometime this summer (June-ish) and move to New Orleans. I basically decided this a few months ago, and it's just now that I've been able to nail down the plan as much as I can for right now. I'm applying to jobs and looking at apartments and shit - it's all very exciting and I really can't wait to get down there. Thanks to everyone who's listened to me babble on about this, and everyone had better and visit. It's a very, very fantastic place and if you come down, you'll fall in love, too. It's okay, happens to everyone.

Other shit - spring needs to come in the worst way, and my allergy medicine needs to start working like whoa. Cool idea for a post over at Fuckyouistan. I need to get more sleep - the generic benadryl I bought today should help that. Thought of an amazing idea a little while ago that I will need to dedicate a whole post to shortly. I have been cooking a lot lately, and maybe I will post some of the recipes I have been using so that people can enjoy these delicious veggie dishes as much as I have. A couple of very hilarious lists over at McSweeney's.

Ok, I need to go sneeze all over Steve now.

Quickie

2008-03-28T17:20:00.001-04:00

So here's mah shit.

10 track mind, courtesy of City Paper's Clog.

Big weekend. Hungover blog on Monday about it, I'm sure.

Waiting, waiting, always waiting

2008-03-24T19:40:00.003-04:00

I've been particularly antsy for a number of reasons lately. Some people know what some of those reasons are. I'm choosing to remain particularly cryptic right now, but I expect to spill the beans soon.

Right now, I'm hanging out at La Va Cafe near my house and wishing that I had brought headphones, because the music is probably the most atrocious shit I've ever heard. It's an album of awful, self-important, too-cool-for-school, my-loft-in-Williamsburg-is-better-than-yours Beatles covers. It's making me want to kill cute things. I have to be somewhere with internet for my fantasy baseball draft, though, and I still don't have internet at my apartment.

Also, I'm so fucking ready for spring. You hear me, winter?!!? I've had enough!

Also also, updates are up on The Littlest Gladiator. This blog is going to save the world....and/or make me giggle a lot.

Also also also, I'm going to be doing a 10 track mind for the City Paper blog this week...check back on Friday for a link.

More new blogs!

2008-03-21T17:18:00.002-04:00

So we started a new blog over yonder -

Behold: THE LITTLEST GLADIATOR!!!

St. Urho's Day

2008-03-17T13:59:00.003-04:00

So yesterday was St. Urho's Day, which is a "Finnish holiday." Follow the link to find out why I put air quotes around that.

Since that was yesterday, that would make today St. Patrick's Day, which would make this previous Saturday the most annoying day of the year to walk around Philly. I swear if I hear one more E-A-G-L-E-S chant before August I'm gonna freak out and punch some bitches. So...many...meatheads...

And since today is St. Patrick's Day, that means it's Dadso's birthday. And since Dadso reads the blog, I'd like to give him a shout out. Whaddup Dad. Happy birthday. Those years keep marching on, don't they?

And to celebrate Dadso properly, I thought I would include a picture of him in what I think may be ceremonial ritualistic garb of some sort, maybe for human sacrifice. That's him on the right, along with what I can only assume is his offering to the gods and/or his brother.

Back on track

2008-03-12T13:54:00.003-04:00

(Apologies to those belligerent people who bemoaned the lack of live blogging this past weekend. I was quite busy.)

So, after a few days and a slightly extended trip, I return from the Crescent City. This is my second visit to NOLA, and this trip was even better than the first. I got a really good feeling for the city this time - where people spend time, where young people live, how the city is laid out, how to get different places, what people do for work, etc etc.

KDHL was a wonderful host, as always. We really hit a pretty decent rhythm after a couple days, and I'm really grateful that we've become such good friends. Her friends are awesome, she pulls strings to get us stuff, she's helping me make some contacts, she buys me beer - all great things. Even though my trip was a couple days longer than I had anticipated, I still felt like I was leaving home and going to visit Philly when I left this morning. Very strange feeling, indeed.

From what I hear, New Orleans has this effect on people. They come down for a month of volunteer work, and before they know it, it's a year and a half later and they have a full time job and a whole new life. I can feel it happening to me.

Must be all the wonderful drugs in the water.

Anyways, I had a grandiose time there, and I can't wait to head back.

And that's the end of my book report on my trip to New Orleans. The end.

Lo how the mighty have fallen!

2008-03-04T09:47:00.004-05:00

So less than 2 months after he won his crown of Man Of The Year 2007, my roommate Cedric was enveloped in scandal and left town quicker than the Colts left B-more back in '84.

Turns out he hadn't been paying rent or bills for a few months - just couldn't be bothered, I suppose. Instead, he was taking the couple hundo I was giving him every month and just living on it. He let me know at one point that he was having trouble paying rent, so I even loaned him his portion in January, but none of it ever made it to the landlord. I even opened some old bills and saw that he hadn't been paying those for months and months. Yesterday the gas company tried to come and shut off the gas to the house. 8:45-and-just-woken-up me muttered something like "please don't I'll die" and then I had to go to the PGW office and sit around for an hour to get that shit straightened out.

The sketchiest part of the whole thing was that I went out around 10:30 pm on Saturday night, and when I came home at 2:30 am all his shit was gone and one of my mugs was broken. (He left an apology note, complete with a smiley face with X's for eyes.)

Cedric, we hardly knew ye...despite living with you for over a year and a half.

So next weekend, one of the early front runners for Woman Of The Year 2008, Mo, moves in. Our apartment will be very fun and you should come over. Also, we'll be having a "welcome to the city" party sometime this month, so stay tuned.

"I don't know just where I'm going
But I'm gonna try for the kingdom if I can."

- "Heroin" by The Velvet Underground (from The Velvet Underground and Nico)

Dad Fashion!

2008-02-25T14:31:00.005-05:00

So, those of you who know me know that I have some small obsessions in my life, most of which are pretty strange and allow some soft spots in my otherwise impenetrable fortress of good looks, charm and wit. Among these idiosyncrasies is one that seems to come up time and again - Dad Fashion.

If you're lucky enough, as I am, to have a dad who portrays most of even all of these qualities, it makes this post funny. If not, I apologize in advance and you should come back in a couple days for a new post.

So here it is - my Dad Fashion checklist. Suggestions for additions encouraged.

__White sneakers
__Light-colored jeans pulled up a bit too high (above-the-knee khaki shorts in the summer)
__Tube socks (crew socks also acceptable, though they have to be pulled up)
__Collared shirt tucked into pants
__Very plain black or brown leather belt
__Cell phone holster clipped to belt
__Hoodless sweatshirt
__Jacket of a sports team and/or restaurant (bonus points for sports-themed restaurant)
__Baseball hat (which was probably free)
__Thinning hair
__Just-a-mustache
__Prescription sunglasses
__Maps
__Handkerchief (for blowing nose really loudly in public places)
__Chunky, waterproof multi-purpose watch with compass, thermometer, etc

"You drank yourself into slow-mo
Made an angel in the snow
Anything to pass the time."

- "Clementine" by Elliot Smith (from Elliot Smith)

Fairmount Park excursion

2008-02-18T17:26:00.010-05:00

So last weekend I took a nice little bike ride through parts of Fairmount Park, the huge park around the Schuykill River. It was a gorgeous day and I caught some of the sunset over the river, too. Also finally got to check out the Laurel Hill Cemetary, though it was from outside the fence because it closed before I got my ass up there.

Why not replace one made up holiday with another?

2008-02-14T16:40:00.003-05:00

So today, in case you didn't know, is supposed to be another one of those magical holidays made up by Hallmark and flower companies in order to make a buck, like Arbor Day and Mom's birthday.

But you know what? Fuck that. Today is Van Halentine's Day.

Oh and PS, this is post 250. Thanks, everyone, for sticking around!

"I live my life like there's no tomorrow,
And all I've got I had to steal.
Least I don't need to beg or borrow,
Yes, I'm living at a pace that kills"

- "Runnin With The Devil" by Van Halen (from Van Halen)

Friday night adventures!

2008-02-11T16:48:00.000-05:00

So on Friday night, Drew and I finally commenced with Operation Joonbo Drop. (Yea, I didn't remember Leary being in that movie, either.) For more history, check out Drew's blog.

The quick history is that Drew and Michelle got two snapping turtles a few years ago, Benny and Joon. Joon quickly grew to twice Benny's size and started attacking him. Benny's been living in the bathtub for a few months and Joon has grown to behemoth proportions. So Drew made the executive decision to release her into the wild, and on Friday we did it at an undisclosed location in the metro Philadelphia region. Here is the photo documentation.

The beast in its cage.

Caught in the act.

Trudging into the wilderness.

Look at the size of that thing!!!

She loves it! And she's gone!

Disguises are important. Now, to the Sidecar to celebrate the successful venture!!

Drew and Mich Mich are so happy to have the sea beast out of their house!

Disguises are still important!

"I don't want to destroy your tank top.
Let's be friends and just walk away.
Hate to see you lyin there in your Superman skivvies."

- "Undone (The Sweater Song)" by Weezer (from The Blue Album)

Infomercials and Frasier!

2008-02-05T09:38:00.000-05:00

Infomercials and Frasier - two seemingly distant ends of the television spectrum. What do they have in common? They are two of things you find on TV when it's 2:30 am and you can't sleep.

That's right kids, the insomnia is back.

"You can say the sun is shining if you really want to
I can see the moon and it seems so clear."

- "Road" by Nick Drake (from Pink Moon)

Shared Custody

2008-01-30T19:00:00.000-05:00

I listen to a ton of music at work. I recently (today) decided that I should start dedicating every day of the week, not just Friday, to artists and/or genres of music. This is my first stab at a lineup.

Monday - Relax through that hangover Monday (Death Cab For Cutie, Nick Drake, Elliott Smith, etc)

Tuesday - Clash Tuesday (sprinkle liberally with other punk and hardcore as well)

Wednesday - Iron Maiden Wednesday

Thursday - Girl Talk Thursday (apply hip hop as needed)

Friday - Funk & Soul Friday (Otis Redding, James Brown, George Clinton, Prince, etc)

Whatchy'all think? Suggestions?

"Murder for freedom, a stab in the back.
Women and children and cowards attack."

- "Run To The Hills" by Iron Maiden (from The Number of the Beast)

I wish I was a little bit taller

2008-01-28T16:48:00.000-05:00

I don't have lots of wishes. Fewer than most people, I think, because I don't wish for many material things and I'm pretty happy about most things when it comes right down to it. And I don't live in the third world, and my family is pretty good and I love my friends. I care about people, and people care about me.

But sometimes, what I wish for more in the world than anything else, is a little fucking self-confidence.

"Better hop on in -
The pass will close if the clouds start rolling in.
Can't take the thought of being stuck again."

- "Afghamistam" by Botch (from An Anthology Of Dead Ends)

Ouch

2008-01-27T14:30:00.000-05:00

Okay, let's play a game - spot how many good decisions and great decisions there are in this story.

I hung out with some friends at a party the other night, had a beer or seventeen, and left around 3:30. I was biking home and talking on the phone. (Bee tea dub, the back brake is broken on my bike.) Somewhere around 9th and Catharine (a pretty quiet place at 3:30), I hit a pot hole - hard. I thought "maybe I can save this" as I flew over the handlebars in slow motion. Next thing I know I'm writhing on the ground with my bike upside down next to me. Out of nowhere, a guy approaches me and says, with a vague accent, "Are you alright?" I respond with groaning and, eventually, "Where did that come from??" To which my new friend* responded, "I'm from Italy." I start giggling and say, "No, not you, the pot hole." I pull my yard sale together, get back on my bike, and my new friend walks away. I yell after him "Grazie!" and he responds with a jaunty "Ciao!" I then ride away, trying to figure out if that really just happened.

I took the brunt of the fall on my elbow, which is still quite swollen. I can't really extend it all the way. I also ended up with a cut on my side. All things considered, I'm pretty goddamn lucky. I probably should have landed on my face, and that would have been terrible because I really can't afford to be any uglier than I already am.

So what's the count? This story is rife with amazing decisions - I'll make my count and post my guess, too.

* I call him a friend because he saw me at my most asinine and pathetic, and really, that's what friend do.

"Hey Catrine, I know it's true when I'm sitting in my room.
But sometimes knowing is not enough, when time is what we've lost."

- "Hey Catrine" by Lifetime (from Jersey's Best Dancers)

But you forgot that in your fairy tale I'm the wolf

2008-01-23T10:12:00.000-05:00

Some quick things -

This is why it sucks ass to live in the northeast: the dreaded wintry mix. Not snow, not rain, not sleet, but some horrific, awful, freezing cold amalgam of all three (and sleet itself is mixture!!). For anyone who has never lived here, this happens about once a week here, and it never gets any easier to deal with. One of the most frustrating parts is that there's really no correct attire for it, other than a full rubber bodysuit (which I have, but I use for things other than walking around in the dreaded wintry mix).

---

I'm not trying to get into some big discussion here - just pointing out the continued stupidity of everyone's favorite fake Texan - but in this article, President Bush says "America is better than this, so we will continue to work for a culture of life." I think that maybe Bush forgot about this story in which he affirmed his support of killing people "swiftly and surely." As governor of Texas, he executed 152 people. Culture of life indeed!

"Now you say you're leavin home
cause you want to be alone.
Ain't it funny how you feel
When you're findin out it's real?"

- "Sugar Mountain" by Neil Young (from Decade)

Enough with FAIL, here's some WIN

2008-01-20T22:51:00.001-05:00

For the second year in a row, my friend Tom and I have a message for a certain sector of the country's population.

Go fuck yourselves, San Diego.

Also, go Pats.

Also also, Boston is officially no longer a scrappy sports town - everyone hates Boston teams. But you know what? We put up with so many awful seasons and terrible heartbreaks that we deserve this moment of glory.

"And he knows what he's got to do
So he knows he's gonna have fun with you
You lucky lady!
An he knows when the evening comes
When his job is done he'll be over in his car for you."

- "Janie Jones" by The Clash (from The Clask)

I can't even deal with all the FAIL right now

2008-01-18T13:11:00.001-05:00

I swear I'll start posting something else soon, but I just can't help myself when Yahoo! is helping me so much. I logged into my e-mail and saw these first two stories, and couldn't help but LOLZ for about 10 minutes then pee myself a little.

o hai i have ur FAIL rite heer

2008-01-18T10:21:00.001-05:00

Not to be outdone by Citigroup's announcement of massive FAIL the other day, yesterday banking and investment giant Merrill Lynch came out with a report of its own massive FAIL. They reported losses of $7.8 BILLION (or the equivalent of the the GDP of the Republic of the Congo) in the last quarter of 2007. All told, they reported net losses of $22.1 BILLION for the year (or, the entirety of Costa Rica's GDP).

Dammit, I never should have given Citigroup the FAIL of the year award, cuz by total losses ~~Fail~~ Merrill Lynch TOTALLY pwned - Citi only lost $18 billion for the year.

Okay, Lynch - you get the massive, catastrophic, outlandish FAIL of the year award.

"He said, son, I've made a life out of readin peoples faces,
And knowin what their cards were by the way they held their eyes.
So if you don't mind my sayin, I can see you're out of aces.
For a taste of your whiskey I'll give you some advice."

-- "The Gambler" by Kenny Rogers (from The Gambler)

Hehehe fail

2008-01-15T10:23:00.000-05:00

So Citigroup, Inc, the country's biggest bank, recorded the largest quarterly deficit in its 196-year history during the last quarter of 2007. All told, they lost 10 BILLION DOLLARS IN THREE MONTHS. To put that in perspective, the World Bank lists Laos' GDP (the value of all final goods and services produced within a nation in a given year (I thought I would include that because I didn't really know what GDP actually meant)) at about $10.2 billion. For this, Citibank, you earn the biggest FAIL of the year.

"And it breaks my heart, like dancing up all night.
Ride so high we both start thinking 'bout another world tonight"

- "Setting Fire To Sleeping Giants" by Dillinger Escape Plan (from Miss Machine)

I gotta get back on this horse!

2008-01-11T13:59:00.000-05:00

Okay, so now that things are beginning to calm down after my whirlwind December and New Years, I think I'm ready to start writing in my journal again (poor neglected journal!) and to make regular updates again. I'm not deluding myself into thinking that people are riveted to this corner of the series of tubes or anything, I just like making updates. SO BACK OFF.

I'm pretty pumped to be going to Boston this weekend, though. It's the last little bit of traveling I'll be doing for a bit, so hopefully it goes off without a hitch. There's no way it could fail. Going to see the whole gang for a little bit and see KDHL off (booooo), and we're going to see Bane with Silent Drive, Outbreak, and With Honor at the Palladium in Worcester. Ahh, central Mass hardcore, we meet again!

Dirt made an interesting post about our parents' generation. While Crystal accused him of bitter blogging, it gave me the gumption, the chutzpah, to make a post about something in a similar vein. Also, I was inspired by what I saw on the street as I went out to buy edamame just now. (I know, I'm a hippie.)

To me, there's nothing sadder than watching a parent who doesn't want to be a parent. You know the type - they're the ones screaming at their kids, making the kids walk behind them, not paying attention to them, staring off into space as they push the stroller down the street. I saw a woman pushing her baby on Walnut St., and could see this look in her eyes. There was a fire, a passion that was dying inside her, and I could see it flare up as she crossed the street and die down a little as she looked down into the stroller. She was pretty young, mid 20s I would guess, and had a big honkin ring on her finger. But the look in her eyes made me want to shake her out of her reverie, put the drum sticks (that she no doubt put down when she got married) back in her hand, and tell her that her life isn't over. And I wanted to believe that, too.

I don't think I would be a good parent. I'm not patient enough, and I'm too bitter about so many things, and I don't think I would ever be able to forgive a little brat for changing my life forever. I just don't understand this inexorable desire to procreate - I just don't. I also don't get this obsession with marriage, either. If I love someone, I'll be with them for as long as I can stand him or her, or until he or she can't stand me anymore. And I'm not about to let the fucking state tell me what I can and can't do it about it. That's some bullshit right there.

Maybe I'll change my mind on all this someday - I'm open to that possibility. Maybe when I get older I'll decide there's nothing more precious that having a little poop machine cry through the night. Maybe I decide that having a ring on my finger makes me a real man. But right now, I'm calling bullshit.

"And it's so much more that just fucking clothes -
It's in the way that you cannot sit still,
Chewing on words but spitting out actions;
Fire the fire that burns so deep inside."

- "Every Effort Made" by Bane (from Holding This Moment)

The 237th post is almost always a good one

2008-01-06T10:24:00.000-05:00

So today is KHDL's last full day in Philly - wah wah. But we have a big day in store - brunch at the Sidecar, the Mutter Museum, the Art Museum, Trader Joe's, making dinner, napping, potentially going out. Whew!

It's been a really fun week, and I'm so glad she's been here. We've done a bunch of really cool stuff, and I think I might be changing her mind about Philly a little. She's a hater, you see, but I think part of it was just that she had never come here with someone who REALLY knew his or her way around. It's funny how a city can do that to you. Denver definitely gave me that impression - that if I hadn't known people there who knew where to go or what to do, I wouldn't have been as impressed with the city as I was. I guess it's always good to have a guide. An urban sherpa, maybe.

"Take all the things that I've said that he stole
Put 'em in a sack
Swing 'em over my shoulder
Turn on my heels
Step out of this sight
Try to live in a lovelier light"

- "Not About Love" by Fiona Apple (from Extraordinary Machine)

I wish I could stop mouth breathing for like 10 minutes

2008-01-02T10:14:00.000-05:00

I really would. But I don't think it's going to happen for quite some time. Yesterday was Mummers, which was a shit show as per usual. Most of the people who were at my house and in town from Boston are gone, which is both sad and great. We had a tremendous New Years - epic, even. So epic, in fact, that my house now looks like downtown Beirut, complete with bodies (Nate, John) everywhere and projectiles (carrots) flying through the air at any time. It was great fun, but I'm ready to go back to having 2 people live in my apartment, not 12.

KDHL is here for a couple more days, which is pretty great. We have a few more things to do in the city, but I'm looking for suggestions of other things we should do. Mostly I just wanna go out to dinner and lay in bed for a while, but stupid work is stupid, and I have to be in the "office" if I want to keep my "job". Typical.

I feel awfully gross. I'm going to go see what I can do about it.

"I put on my overcoat and walked into winter, my teeth chattered rhythms.
And they were grouped in twos or threes like a Morse code message was sent from me to me."

- "I Was A Kaleidoscope" by Death Cab For Cutie (from We Have The Facts And We're Voting Yes)

Belated Festivus post

2007-12-26T02:11:00.001-05:00

Hello all, I hope that you and yours have had a nice holiday season so far. A quick post with a quotation and today's lyric, because I have to go air some grievances and wrestle the head of the household.

"I am not opposed to Christ, if you like. He was a most humane person, and if He were alive today, He would be found in the ranks of the revolutionists, and would play a conspicuous part. There's no doubt about that."

- from The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky

"I'm gonna fight for what I want to be.
I won't make the same mistakes,
Because I know how much time that wastes"

- "Waiting Room" by Fugazi (from 13 Song)

A quickie in the men's room that is Wes' computer

2007-12-18T13:16:00.001-05:00

So I'm live blogging from Wes' computer. It's been months since this computer has seen that. (hegh!) This is just a quick little update to say that Aspen is going just as well as could be expected, and that photos will be forthcoming quite soon.

"Sister's scared of the mezzanine
She says the mise-en-scene comes beneath not between"

- "Humor is Non-sequitur", by Night Rally (from The Elegant Look Of The New)

White people fucking it up, chapter 45567634542

2007-12-14T12:22:00.000-05:00

So KDHL has been doing some really cool shit down in New Orleans about some really bad shit that's going down there. I'm going to cull heavily from the e-mail she just sent out to a bunch of people. From here to the end of this post, it's other people talking.

New Orleans is not in the media enough when really this place is still a mess 2 years later and that's an outrage. HUD plans to demolish 5000 units of public housing in a city that's going through a housing crisis. They'll replace that with only 182 units of affordable housing. There are over 16,000 homeless people in this city, up from 6,000 pre-Katrina. HUD is spending 762 MILLION DOLLARS to demolish instead of rebuild.

But residents are organized and there are people here to help. Already we've delayed the demolition of some buildings at the BW Cooper development, demonstrated outside the HUD office and inside city council meetings and there's a rally planned at the St Bernard Housing Development for Saturday.

So yeah, write a blog, read an article, talk about it at the water cooler...anything to just put it on the radar of people. I'm not saying joining a facebook group will stop a bulldozer but what if we all did what we could? That would rule.

Great resources:

Democracy Now! article

www.defendneworleanspublichousing.org

The Ruckus Society article

Video:

"I'm the space invader,
I'll be a rock 'n' rollin' bitch for you"

- "Moonage Daydream", by David Bowie (from The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars)

Never kiss a gun street girl again

2007-12-11T12:52:00.000-05:00

Some pictures of downtown Denver during the snow last night.

"She's a crumbling beauty, ah
There's nothing wrong with her that a hundred dollars won't fix."

- "9th and Hennepin", Tom Waits (from Rain Dogs)

It's a war on war

2007-12-10T21:10:00.000-05:00

Not much to report...work today, training start tomorrow. Should be very good and should get a chance to hang out with some more people. Had fun hanging and shopping with Dirt yesterday...it was very domestic of us. Can't wait for my associate Mr. Morgan to return from the Left Coast and for Will to start feeling better so Hotel Marion can be returned to full strength once again. Also, for a magic keg of beer to show in kegerator. That would be ideal.

"I'll be the platform shoes and undo what heredity's done to you...
You won't have to strain to look into my eyes."

- "Brand New Colony", The Postal Service (from Give Up)

Denver - The Windy City!

2007-12-09T18:50:00.000-05:00

So I arrived safely in Denver amidst a pretty significant snow squall yesterday. Even took the bus successfully to downtown, where I had to schlep my rolling suitcase and three other bags down the snow-covered sidewalks. I really need a "fit everything in there" duffel bag for these 3 week sojourns I seem to have been taking so frequently.

Apparently Aspen has been getting ass tons of snow. (And yes, "ass tons" is a scientific term.) Something ridiculous like six feet in the past week. So the skiing and fun up there should be really good - too bad I don't leave till Friday. This week should be really good, if for no other reason than I'm in Denver rather than Philly. I mean, everyone should <3 Philly and all, but it's definitely nice to get outta Dodge, as I keep saying.

Today has been another post-hardcore/post-punk day. Just listened to The Monroe Doctrine by Farside and am now listening to 13 Songs by Fugazi. After this, I think it's on to The Silhouette by Garrison, or it might be Diary by Sunny Day Real Estate. Ah, those were the days...

"I just feel so old since the sun came up today
And the winds of change unearthed my apathy
It's all work and no play"

- "Better Than Crying", Farside (from The Monroe Doctrine)

Is this getting to be too much writing??

2007-12-07T10:02:00.000-05:00

So I leave for Colorado tomorrow. I'll be in not-Philly for 3 weeks. I haven't started packing yet. And somehow, I'm not worried about it. I'm going with the McIntyre approach - I've packed in my head, I just need to put stuff in a suitcase.

(Background: My friend John once scolded our friend/acquaintance McIntyre for not writing his paper yet. McIntyre responded by saying, "I've already written the paper in my head - I just need to print it out." What a McIntyre.)

A few of us went out last night to Bob & Barbara's for drag night. It was pretty great, and a few people who I haven't seen in a while came out, which was great. I feel like whenever I'm about to leave people come out of the woodwork, and then I get a little misty about leaving for so long. But I'll be back soon, y'all.

"You can't swim in a town this shallow
You will most assuredly drown tomorrow."

- "Why You'd Want To Live Here", Death Cab For Cutie (from The Photo Album)

It was 22 degrees when I came into work today

2007-12-06T13:55:00.000-05:00

My camera came in the mail today! Thanks mom! I expect to be posting some pictures soon!

"If the sun comes up
and I still don't wanna stagger home.
Then it's the memory of our betters
that are keeping us on our feet."

- "All My Friends", LCD Soundsystem (from Sound of Silver)

New/improved!

2007-12-05T18:25:00.000-05:00

So I wanted to start a new thing here, mostly just another ripoff of another old Dirt gag. (Have you seen his other site, btw? He interviewed Ian MacKaye recently. Sick!)

I just wanted to put up some lyrics, every day or every other day. Nothing profound, necessarily, but just something that caught my fancy. So really, the exact thing that Dirt's doing, but without the mystery.

Since I thought of this yesterday, here's yesterday's:

"You’ve got pains
Like an addict
10 A.M. automatic"

- "10 AM Automatic", The Black Keys (from the album Rubber Factory)

And today's:

"Most important decisions in life
Are made between two people in bed"

- "Must I Paint You A Picture?", Billy Bragg (from the Bragg compilation Must I Paint You A Picture?)

Shotgun Blast To Stomach Only Angers Wilfred Brimley

2007-12-04T17:09:00.000-05:00

So I'm trying to grow a big bushy mustache right now, for shits and giggles.

But man is it ever annoying to eat bagels and cream cheese. How does Wilfred do it??

I wish I was the head of household so I could wrestle someone for Festivus

2007-12-02T23:49:00.000-05:00

So evidently, it's December. Nature decided to let me know last night by snowing a little as I ~~passed out~~ drove around in Drew's car. Then today it's been a steady downpour of the dreaded wintry mix that descends upon the northeast every winter like the plague. It really is miserable out there, and I'm surprised I left the house at all today.

The gurnal writing is going okay - I missed the other night because I fell asleep, but other than that I've been keeping up with it and not reading back entries. I think this will help me be a little more honest with myself, which apparently I have a problem with. I think I will stop mentioning this soon. Apparently it's helped me get the wheels turning though, and I've made a bunch of posts recently despite being up to my harbls at work. So that seems good or bad (depending on your view of my rambling)!

Just a few more days until I scamper off the great wide West. I just realized that I'm going to be gone for like 3 weeks, and I need to pack, which is always exciting. Also, Steve is going to be unhappy with me again. She's always unhappy about something, though - mostly because she's mad about being a female cat named Steve, I think.

So the rents asked me a little while ago what I wanted for Festivus. This is always hard for me, because I never think about things this way. (I figured out today why this is - my mom is exactly the same way. If she wants something, she just goes out and gets it.) So I thought I would start a sort of ongoing list of thing it would be nice to have for Festivus, if only to help out mom when she's buying all manner of ill shit for her favorite* son.

So here's my Festivus list, which I will amend as necessary in future posts.

- Seeing everyone I love over the next month

- A nice bottle of bourbon or Irish whiskey

- A flask (may purchase on own so I can walk around Aspen, CO in a suit, packing a flask)

- All my friends being happy in whatever they do

- "On The Road" by Jack Kerouac

- The courage to change what I can, the patience to accept what I cannot, and wisdom always to tell the difference

- My books that Lou and Gwen stole / I let them borrow

- Delicious vegetarian food that I eat / make

- A thrift store three piece pinstripe suit, tailored to my freakishly proportioned body

- A pair of jeans

- A record player that works correctly, so I can listen to Otis Redding on vinyl, just like he was intended to be heard

- A voice like Tom Waits'

That's all for now, I think.

*May become second favorite son if older brother ever gets his shit together and stops wearing camouflage Red Sox hats and shaving his chest and arms.

Enough about FAIL

2007-11-30T12:35:00.001-05:00

KDHL makes an astute observation about why I can never fall asleep before 2 am:

KDHL (12:34pm)
you dont have blood in your veins, just medium roast

Touche.

4 cups of coffee a day isn't _that_ much...right? RIGHT???? ANSWER ME!!!!

Ahem.

Thanks for the nice comments, everyone. And the movie suggestions. And the Wet Hot American Summer quote. And the enigmatic and confusing preemptive welcome back to Marion House. <3

Brief pause / respite

2007-11-28T00:42:00.001-05:00

So I started writing journal entries for the first time ever, really. I've done it here and there throughout my time as a student and pseudo-wannabe-writer guy, but I've made a serious move to start writing something every day. Right now, they're just thoughts on shit that's weighing me down, which seems good cuz there's a lot of FAIL going on right now.

I think one of two things could happen - one, I get consumed by that writing and feel like I don't have time to do anything else, i.e. work on stories that I've pulled out of the vault (more on that at a later juncture) or write here. Or two, writing in a journal every day catapults my writing to never-before-seen levels and I start having a prodigious output, the likes of which my vast and expansive readership of four people has never seen before.

I don't really know at this point. Could go either way, I s'pose.

Other than that, Turkey Day was pretty good, and my trip reminded me once again how grateful I am to not be living in Massachusetts (specifically Northboro/Southboro). It also reminded me that I should really try to spend more time with my parents. As my mom took me to the train station to come back here, she simply said, "Where were you?" I know what she meant. Sorry, Mom. It has nothing to do with you, promise. It's that damn town.

I'm also really quite looking forward to my upcoming Denver/Aspen two week blowout extravaganza. There are many things that excite me about it, but mostly I'm just pumped to see the guys and the Hotel Marion again, to be amongst good bars, good food, good beer, and, most importantly, good people. I still stand by the assertion I made in July that that house is one of my favorite places in the world - and that's not just the chilled beer from the kegerator talking.

Ahh, the fake pressure of a blog...

2007-11-17T23:33:00.001-05:00

Amazingly, there are still people who read this tripe. I <3 you all.

So what's new here? It's getting wayyyy colder (I wore my big fuzzy jacket for the first time today), work has been totally bonkers ("wild and woolly," my director calls it), John and the rest of Team Fun were here for the Fun Jihad and Samkinggrr threw up a lot (so did everyone else except John, the bastard), and I'm looking to scratch a musical itch again.

You know what I mean? Like, when you know you want to listen to something, but you can't figure out what it might be? I liken it to when you have an itch in the back of your throat that you can't scratch, no matter how many times you cough or drink water or hock something up or stick sharp metallic objects down there. It's like that.

So, I'm looking for a little audience participation here, since evidently no one but KDHL cares what I have to say about Nawlins.

So, I'm going to steal a page out of the game book that KDHL and I have been using for a little while - it also reminds me of High Fidelity, which I'm obviously soooo on board for.

So, the idea here sprang from the question "If you could have lunch with five people today, who would they be?" The idea here, I think, is that you choose five famous people you want to have lunch with. One of my favorite categories recently was "What five people would be in your movie, and what kind of movie would it be?" My answers weren't very good because I didn't think through it too much, but KDHL had some good ones. I don't want to give it up, but I want to hear what you guys want.

So, you're finally making your dream indie film that you wrote and are directing, and you get your choice of actors. Who do you grab, and what's your movie like?

Returned...

2007-11-07T16:06:00.000-05:00

So I'm back in Philly. Every time I travel, I hope that it will itch something inside that keeps wanting to travel, that it will make me appreciate coming back here to my "home" more, that I will have a deeper understanding of why I stay here. Instead, almost every time I go to another city I can't help but feel like I need to get outta Dodge as soon as I can. Luckily the past year has provided me with ample opportunity to do just that. From May of this year until the end of the December, I will have spent as much time in other places as I've spent here - about three and a half months. And every time I visit someplace new, I'm filled with an almost maniacal urge to cut off all ties with Philly and move there.

And yet, here I am.

New Orleans was a fantastic trip. I can't say enough great things about the city and about the people I met there. It was educational, sad, fun, busy, anger-inducing and calming all at the same time. KDHL and all her friends were amazing, and I could totally see myself there sometime in the future helping them in their myriad worthy causes. It's an incredible time for activists in that city right now because there are so many opportunities to make such a huge difference. As I've heard someone say, the country doesn't need more activists in San Francisco right now - as far as I can tell, New Orleans needs them as bad as anyone.

KDHL tells me that she only knows one person there who meant to move there. Everyone else went there for a visit or an extended stay and now they live there full time and must be getting paid by the city to recruit their friends. Believe me when I say they're doing a good job of that. When one girl I met was leaving, she asked me if I lived there. When I said no, she simply said, "Hm. Too bad. Bye!" That got a lot of knowing laughs from people around me.

Here was the daily breakdown -
Thursday - Got in in the evening and went to KDHL's house to help her move some shit. Laid low as best we could.

Friday - Went to Tulane and marveled at the splendor that is uptown. Giant mansions and stodgy white people galore. These areas were not flooded in the storm. Ate at a delicious Middle Eastern restaurant. Rode back through some neighborhoods that were somewhat affected. Saw the Constance Street Garden which KDHL has been working hard on. Met up with some of KDHL's friends at a sweet dive bar and got a little drunk. Went out into the French Quarter with the intention of making it to Frenchman Street to hear some music and get more drunk, but only got as far as "dinner" (at midnight), and then walked back through Bourbon Street. Could not stop lolzing at how ridiculous and low humans can be.

Saturday - Did a bunch of cleaning around the apartment and went to get daiquiris and visit the 7th and 9th wards, where KDHL used to work and volunteer. There is still so much devastation here that it was all I could do to get out an "oh my god" every 5 minutes. So many lives were ruined, so many people died and were hurt, so many people lost everything two years ago, and all the government can do is put levees back up that are the .same.fucking.strength. as they were before. Oh, and levees, in case you were wondering, are 12 foot high concrete walls that are _maybe_ a foot wide. They are less than 100 yards from the fields where houses used to be, where people used to live. Got a serious load of newfound respek for how fucking hard it is for these people, both those who live there and those who have come to help. I cannot even imagine doing that, and my admiration for everyone involved in the rebuilding effort will never cease.

After that, went to City Park, which was very nice and beautiful and huge. Then we went back to KDHL's house for more cleaning (I kicked the bathroom's ass) and then our 4 hour affair with red beans and rice. Didn't come out that great, but word on the street is that KDHL put some olive oil and cheese in there the other night and it was much better. So there's that. Then went out to Frenchman Street, got pretty drunk, judged peoples' clothes, got jawed at by some crazy woman, almost forgot our bikes, got kicked off the river walk, and fell asleep quite drunk. Took ridiculous pictures.

Sunday - Went out to brunch uptown, then took the afternoon to go to Lake Pontchartrain, which is really quite large (40 miles east-west, 24 miles north-south) and beautiful. It became clear at this point that NOLA had had the best weather in the history of the universe since I came down - 70s during the day, not a single cloud the whole weekend, and just a little chilly at night. That night we went to Hare Krishna dinner, which was incredible, and then spent the night playing Scrabble (homemade board and tiles!) at the coffee shop. Called it an early night and went to bed.

Monday - Got up pretty early and went to the riverwalk again, and this time didn't get kicked off. Had to hold back KDHL from jumping on a passing freight train. Went back to the Garden District and walked around the neighborhood. Saw the long-rumored girlfriend of one neighborhood douchebag. Got on the plane and came back to Philly.

I guess a more succinct way of saying all this would just be: I had a really fantastic time and can't wait to go back.

They don't pronounce all their syllables here

2007-11-02T11:19:00.000-04:00

So I'm live blogging (gahd I hate that term) from the campus of lovely Tulane University in muggy New Orleans, Louisiana. Just pulled into town last night on a quick little extended weekend jaunt to visit the wonderfully crazy KDHL. Her apartment, in her own words, is "livable - barely" and she's not lying. She's also not paying rent because the property is owned by the organization she works for. So, given the massive leaking from every plumbing fixture, the thick coat of sheetrock and plaster dust on _everything_, the total lack of insulation, and the missing ceiling in the bathroom, she's basically squatting. It's a work in progress, though, in every sense of the word.

Given all that, I'm very happy to be here. I've never really been to the drrty drrty (besides Florida, which everyone knows doesn't count), and it seems like this will be an excellent experience in every way. It's easy to not think about the city and the devastation it felt three years ago, and it's even easier not to think about the daily struggles of living that people still face. I wanna drink it all in, get the full tour, not pull any punches and feel what these people feel. Oh also, KDHL is pretty fun.

So far, I've only seen the lower Garden District and the giant, beautiful houses on the way to Tulane through Uptown. So, as the results come in, they will be forthcoming...

Flurry of activity

2007-10-29T14:50:00.000-04:00

So I looked around the little network of blogs listed over there ----> and noticed that lots of people have updated, whilst I myself have not in some time. Hell, I didn't even respond to people's comments on my last post. For shame! (Note: I've now responded back over there.)

I figured, if even LOU can update, I can update. So here goes!

This weekend Sir Not Appearing In This Film made his triumphant return to my life, for better or for worse.

I dressed as a zombie...who wears short shorts and a cutoff shirt. Maybe 1985 Larry Bird zombie? Unclear.

I recently found out that my dad reads / has read my blog. Hi dad! He also told me to plug my mom's web site, which I helped build. She makes teddy bears. (Commence chorus of "Awwww"s.) Her site lives at www.raspbearies.net. She's adorable.

Also, according to Dad, I "write very well" which is good because we "spent a lot of money on my education." Don't I know it. Sallie Mae continues to promise to send its goons after me. Okay, maybe not, but I just wish they would stop sending my offers for car insurance and credit cards.

I love getting mail, don't get me wrong, but recently the only mail I've gotten is asking for money (from NARAL and Sierra Club) or telling me I have great credit (lies). It was nice, however, to see the postcard from Jill In Denmark and the New Yorker article sent from the depths of the swamps in the drrty drrty by KDHL. What is it about getting physical mail that just seems so cool? I mean, I guess it might have something to do with me getting 1000 emails a day at work (no lie), but...well, who knows.

Blatant ripoff

2007-10-17T10:35:00.000-04:00

In the tradition of Crystal, I too am ripping off Dirt.

I was just thinking today about how weird it is that our parents name us and, most of the time, we use those names for life. What if we had one name for a while, then everyone had to change it when they were like 10? Or 20? Or 23 (for example)? What would yours be?

Some names that I think are awesome right now:

Beauregard
Leroy
Manuel
Hank

I wanna hear some other good ones.

Whoa whoa, feeeeeelings

2007-10-12T01:26:00.001-04:00

So it felt like the first day of fall in Philly today. I wore shorts and a wool military surplus button-up, and it felt just right. It's upon us.

I've also had a weird recurring cough for the past few weeks. I think it's the weather, since it was mad cold a couple weeks ago, then 87 on Monday, and now 65 for a high today. Dunno though. Could be avian flu. One never knows these days.

I've also been feeling a bit melancholy lately. I think it's a combination of a bunch of stuff. The weather and finishing The Road by Cormac McCarthy mostly, I think.

Also, not enough can ever be said, I suppose, about having your BFFs (I D K, Jill?) in the same city as you. Having them scattered around the country and not getting to see them is just not cool. I wish I lived in the same neighborhood as everyone I care about. We could have big group dinners, and drink too much together at a really shitty bar near our houses, and talk about how the government is fucked up, and how we just want to be in relationships and friendships with people in whom we really see something.

Something, like what? Something, like how we want the world to be like. Something, like how we think people should act toward each other. Something, like how the things we see in each other are the things that are right with humanity.

I want to be able to see all my friends and say this to them, and drink a toast in honor of all of them.

<*!--end emo interlude--!*>

Cash might have to make room...

2007-10-06T02:36:00.000-04:00

...in my post-midnight music of choice. I've....I've found another. I'm not replacing Johnny by any means - he'll be first in my heart, always. But Billy, Billy, Billy - something about your reverb-alicious guitar and throaty, honest love songs hit me just right tonight. So here's to you, Billy Bragg - welcome to the After Midnight Club. Johnny and I have a glass of bourbon waiting for you.

Heart of the city

2007-10-03T20:45:00.000-04:00

So I was reading "DOs and DON'Ts: 10 Years of Vice Magazine's Street Fashion Critiques" because I'm a pretentious dickbag, and I saw a DO that inspired me to make this blog post. The picture is a couple, the girl holding a bottle of Yuengling, the guy wearing a Phillies t-shirt. The caption is "Philadelphia license plates should say, 'Home of the great friends.' Everyone there is so over it you feel like a dick for ever having a problem."

It's so true! So here it is, some things that I love about this wondrous city that I've been living in for the past five years.

This is the view from my house

- We have great passion about our sports teams. True, there are many cities that do, and this in and of itself is nothing special. But in Philly, fans are just as likely to boo athletes that play for a Philly team. No grace period, no undeserved accolades, no cushy hero status without earning it. And athletes have to continually prove themselves here. And I like that: that sense of being real.

- We have great bars. Again, every city has great bars, but I haven't experienced so many in such close proximity, and in the actual "downtown" area. Within a few blocks of Center City, there are at least a half dozen great, cheap, chill bars with excellent food and terrific jukeboxes. Plus, you can find bars that are just as good in a ton of the other areas of the city. (Yeaaa Doobies, Sidecar, Fiume, Sugar Mom!)

- It's cheap as all hell for an east coast city. I live 15 minutes - walking - from the heart of downtown, City Hall. And my total rent for a 2 bedroom apartment is what some people pay individually in NYC or Boston, or even some upscale parts of other cities. And our food and drinks are cheap, too.

- Yuengling lager on draft. One of the finest beers I've ever tasted, and you can find a bunch of places downtown that sell pitchers of this ambrosia for 7 or 8 bux. Also, the city wide special - a shot of Jim Beam and a can of PBR for 3 bux. I dare you to get absolutely shithoused for 12 bux in any other city.

- Philly is super integrated. The only other city I've been to that even comes close to this level of integration is New York, but I feel like there are definitely giant swaths of the city (ahemmidtownahem) where you can walk and encounter nary a minority or anything out of the ordinary. That's boring and racist. In Philly, there are a lot of different ethnic groups represented, but their neighborhoods are totally non-exclusive. Except Fairmont. Stupid white folks...

- Philly has some of the worst neighborhoods I've ever seen. The rundown neighborhoods are really, really bad. I won't say they're some of the worst in the country, because I haven't seen many. But they're bad and that gives the city some grit in its teeth, some gravel in it throat and some swagger in its street cred step. Plus, we have Camden, NJ (aka Murder City) right across the river.

- Philly has some of the best neighborhoods I've ever seen. G-ho, Fishtown, Spruce Hill (and most of West Philly around Clark Park), Queen Village, Italian Market, Passyunk Square - I'd live in any of these places in a second. As a G-ho resident, I'm a little biased and think this neighborhood's the best, though.

- People from Philly will give it to you straight. We won't dick you around, we won't play mind games, we won't drink your beer and not tell you that we did. Example: I was at my favorite thrift store in South Philly, and some guy just leaned out his window and said, "Man! You are one ugly motherfucker!" and then drove off. See! No mincing words there!

- We have a great climate. It doesn't get THAT warm in the summer (a little humid, it's true), and we don't get a ton of snow or bitter, cold days during the winter. And we have beautiful, amazing in-between seasons that last several weeks, and gently ease us from season to season. There is excellent sweater-and-shorts weather here, and that makes me smile every spring and fall.

- The Philly Taco. A Jim's cheesesteak wrapped in a slice of Lorenzo's pizza. If they serve food in heaven, it's probably hors d-oeuvres based on the Philly Taco.

- We have great indie movie theaters right downtown. Three of em. Wanna go see that new Wes Anderson movie, and it's not playing at Regal? Go to the Ritz, a short jaunt away on your bike (in our bike-friendly streets!).

- We have a vibrant college community. We have two giant colleges (Penn and Temple) within the city limits, and three small ones (La Salle, Drexel, U Arts) that add a lot of flavor, too. And grads (like me!) are starting to stick around and do a lot for the city. Also, there aren't so many that we have awful student ghettos like Allston or Boulder.

- If John Racine moved here and brought JJ Foley's with him, and put JJ Foley's 3 blocks from my house, this would be the greatest city in the history of the universe.

- Philly really is the home of the great friends. Some of my favorite people in the history of the world have been from here, or at least resided here for an extended period of time.

Of course, I could make a list of things that drive me crazy about this city (the accent, SEPTA), but that would be boring and not cool. So, everyone come to Philly now!

Link fest 2000

2007-09-22T11:31:00.000-04:00

Hey. So I still haven't worked up the gumption to post that blog I've been thinking about (sorry Crystal). I was just sick of looking at the post I put up after consuming all those, um, prescription back pills.

It's been pretty quiet 'round these parts lately, as it usually is. I'm done with traveling for a little while, which is good for my wallet but bad for my only-slightly-whetted appetite for getting outta Dodge. Been hanging with my man Paul a lot, which is great cuz I haven't seen that guy in a minute. I've been obsessed with Ratatat, Flight of the Conchords and BSG lately. The former makes me feel a little hep (as Raoul Duke would say), the latter makes Drew harass me nonstop.

And Flight of the Conchords...well, that just some of the most brilliant television ever.

I've also been trying to follow all this shit going down in Jena, La. (WARNING: Political rant to follow.) If this is, in fact, the "beginning of the 21st century civil rights movement" as the Rev. Al Sharpton and others have pointed out, it seems like it's auspicious at best.

While I whole-heartedly agree that there was injustice in the whole situation, and the legal system is CLEARLY completely and totally racist, the whole issue would be much clearer and easier to rally behind if the suspects hadn't committed the crime. They were treated unfairly, yes - they were unjustly sentenced and bail was set too high and the jury, judge and prosecutor were all 100% white - but they still beat up that kid. It wasn't bad - the white kid went to a school function the night he was beaten - but it was still six on one and a crime did happen.

This isn't a Parks/King/Lewis struggle, where the bad guys and good guys were clearly drawn out - the bad guys were using dogs and fire hoses, the good guys were organizing sit-ins and making speeches and calling on God to help them. It could be that, 40 years from now, we'll point back to Jena and say that we wish "things were that clear now," but part of me can't help but feel conflicted about the whole situation. On the whole, I come down on the side of the Jena 6 and (perhaps especially) their families. But I find it hard to believe that this could be the start of something as meaningful or important as what happened all those years ago.

Effin Red Sox

2007-09-15T02:41:00.000-04:00

Stupid Red Sox. Up 7-2 in the 8th and lose the game like a bunch of fuckin chuds. So typical.

In other news, tonight I am The Baxter.

Blerg

2007-09-14T02:00:00.000-04:00

Have an awesome idea for a post, but I'm too tired and it's too late and I've had too much Yuengling to post it.

For now, there's this.

Detox Day 2: Higher-level brain functions return!

2007-09-04T22:37:00.000-04:00

So a combination of fantastic financial strain (I have about $40 American for the next two weeks) and 3 weeks of heavy imbibing have put me into detox of sorts here. I feel very, very good about it. I've been able to sweat out most of the horrid toxins (PBR and scotch, mostly). I'm starting to remember what words like "aesthetic," "acrimonious" and "the" mean. Drew and Lou may remember that guy from college.

The nice thing is that I've had lots of time to read lately, and have picked up some good stuff. I finally read my first Christopher Moore book, "The Lust Lizard Of Melancholy Cove." Then it was half of Ken Kalfus' "A Disorder Peculiar To The Country," which was actually a pretty big disappointment since I like his other stuff (particularly "The Commissariat Of Enlightenment" and "Thirst") so much. Then it was John Hodgman's "The Areas Of My Expertise," which was just as good as I'd hoped it would be. Highly recommended. Now it's "Angela's Ashes" by Frank McCourt, a book, as it turns out, I put off for far too long. It's simply delightful. And yes, I just used a word to describe a book that most people (myself included) thought was retired in 1962.

In a little self-promotion that's a couple weeks old by now, some of the organizations I work for ran a massive campaign against BP, which was planning to increase toxic dumping into Lake Michigan by several thousand pounds every day - 1,584 pounds of ammonia and "4,925 pounds of suspended solids, tiny sludge particles that escape water treatment filters." On Thursday, August 23, BP said that they wouldn't increase dumping because of "ongoing regional opposition." Yea, 80,000 petition signatures will give you that impression, won't it, assholes. Now all we have to do is get said assholes to hold up their end of the bargain. Mad props to my boy Will for launching and coordinating this tactical nuclear strike and sticking it to those bastards.

Boil some sheets, cut some water - let's take this party downstairs

2007-08-30T22:52:00.002-04:00

So I'm just about outta here. One more night in Boston, then one night in NYC, then onward, twirling, twirling toward Freedom! Er, Philly.

Boston has been great and good fun. I finally feel like I know how to get around this goddamn city, and I know some great bars and people to hang out with up here. Maine was spectacular as always - it IS the way life should be, after all. And I was happy to drive through that magical land of tax-free wine and spirits that requires no man or woman to be encumbered by seat belts or motorcycle helmets, New Hampshire.

I don't have any time now...THERE'S NO TIME....but I'll have more upon my return to Freedomville.