Wednesday, October 12, 2005

You miss one fuckin class...

I have a midterm in my music class on monday. Part of it will be to compose a melody using the following criteria:

"Compose an 8-16 measure melody and incorporate arch shape, diminution, transposition of melodic fragments, inverted upside down arch, and curves."

Needless to say, I have no idea what any of these things mean. And so, for the first time in my academic career, I turn to the textbook for guidance. However, in the chapter that explains key signatures and transposition, I find the following passage:

"Notice at the bottom of the circle [of 5ths, a tool for transposing key signatures], three keys overlap. The overlapping keys - B and C flat, F# and G flat, and C# and D flat - are enharmonic versions of each other. While each pair is played on exactly the same keys on the piano, they are notated completely differently on the staff."

I think that it's a tremendously good sign when even my music book is telling me, in so many words, to give up. "There's too many notes, Drew," it says to me. "Just tell your teacher that you have no idea what's going on, walk out of class, and continue petting your cat. It's been a good run, but the dream is over." Also, I don't know how to play the piano.

What happened to us, music class? You're the one who gave me the assignment to learn to draw the treble clef as homework not a month ago! You used to be different, man. I feel like I don't even know you anymore. Remember that time that my assignment was to familiarize myself with the keyboard and form a personal relationship with it by giving the keys names? Can't we go back to the old days?


On a related note, Steve was just crawling around on my desk and totally fell off my printer. She's so graceful!

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