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Raining, pouring...

It seems like there are points in my life when everything is going right, and then times when everything seems to be going wrong. This, of course, is never true, but when either of those times come up, I think it's important to recognize them.

For me, it's easy to talk about when everything seems to be going wrong - this is just the time when I want sympathy, and help, and feel the most lonely. When everything is going right, I tend to take it for granted. I feel that I've been getting much better at recognizing when things are going right, and stopping for a second to make sure I realize it and appreciate it.

Right now is not one of those times, so I'm going to complain publicly for a few sentences.

KDHL and I broke up during Mardi Gras, twice. It was the messiest and most public breakup I've ever been a part of, and I realize that I handled it with less grace and humility than I've come to expect of myself, which is disappointing. I really don't know how to handle it from here, but I am doing my best and pulling strength from the great people around me, and from myself. It's been incredibly hard, and it makes me sad that this never gets any easier.

I am completely out of money, and my credit card has dried up. I am getting on track and working as much as I can, but this is a frustrating place to always be in.

I am getting quite sick. It probably has to do with the five straight days of drinking and emotional exhaustion. Again, I've beat these before and I'm sure I'll be able to again.

I cracked the fork on my precious, beautiful bike, so I have no real way of getting around. I will feel really good to fix it, and have that wondrous machine in tip top shape again.

But then, there are things that are going well - work is steady and keeps growing, and I'm beginning to feel that I really belong there. I am striking up new friendships, renewing old ones, and I can see how incredible lucky I am to know such amazing people. I am doing my best to thank those people whenever I can, and let them know how much I appreciate the support. If I haven't done so already, from the bottom of my heart - thank you, and I will do my best to tell you personally as soon as I can.

posted by Werd @ 2:24 PM