Friday, September 30, 2005

I miss her a lot. I love her a lot. I emote a lot.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Wednesday, September 28, 2005


Work on The Project finally resumed this evening. I had been meaning to do something about the stagnancy for some time and finally got around to it. Hurray.

Liz might be coming up for the Daggers of Throwing! show and staying the weekend. If you know her and read this (this demographic is limited to Lou, I think), you should drop her a line convincing her to come. If you're reading this, Liz, I first apologize for the verbal diarrhea and second beg you to come down. It'll be awesome to be back in the ghetto! Come on, bed that was actually meant for two people...

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Makin' it look mean!

If you are ever in a situation where you are sitting in a seat, chosen of your own volition, on a vehicle, and there are other people coming on the vehicle which you are presently aboard but who do not have assigned seats, there is a very strict procedure that you need to follow in order to ensure that they will not sit next to you, because you don't want them invading your personal space, since, as we all know, we Americans are entitled to our own personal sphere which others are not to violate except under very specific circumstances or in cases of extreme intimacy with another human being which act as a sort of communion between two souls; what I am driving at here is that some fat dude talking on his flip phone, wearing too much Aqua Velva and carrying a bag that is clearly over the size limitation of that mode of travel is not one of those cases of extreme intimacy or communion and should not be one of the people who is allowed to violate your personal space by sitting next to you on your chosen mode of transporation, be it a discount airline, discount bus, or overpriced rail system.

If this is ever the case for you, make sure you have the following:
-headphones (preferably attached to a music-making device, but not necessarily)
-a book (the thicker, the better - short books like Goosebumps or Martha's Guide To Good Business Practice will not cut it)
-a scowl (if you smile, you lose your extra seat, so make sure you have...)
-a will of steel (any flinch, glance upward from your reading material, or flicker of a smile will spell certain doom for your imaginary friend sitting in that "empty" seat next to you)

This is what you need to do. Arrive early. Before embarking upon the vehicle, apply headphones to ears. If they are not attached to anything, make sure you hide that cord! Find an empty set of seats, sit in the one closest to the aisle, and pull out your book immediately. Hold the book in your lap and point your gaze down at it. Whatever you do, no matter how hot that mom is that's walking by or how much noise her fucking kid is making, DO NOT LOOK UP. For the love of everything holy, read that book as if your life depended on it. Even if you don't (can't) read it, keep staring at the jumbled mess of letters and see if you can catch some of the secrets of the universe in the text of The DaVinci Code (sorry, they're not there). If you think that someone is hovering above you, waiting to pounce on that inside seat, don't look at them or even acknowledge that someone might be standing where they are, in fact, standing at that very instant. There are very few people who will actually make physical contact with you in order to grab your attention, but if they do, act offended and roll your eyes a lot. If they stay, make a lot of noise moving your bags, standing up, and stepping into the aisle. Sigh a lot, even more than that time that your soccer coach asked you to cut the grass on the game field while the rest of your was practicing. Make sure they get the inside seat if they still insist of sticking around. And make sure you claim that armrest in the name of decent humanity.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Ever get the feeling...

...that Gary Shandling is watching you when you masturbate?
...that Jennifer Love Hewitt might not be all that hot after all?
...that sunflower seeds just might be the perfect food?
...that there are very few finer things in life than listening to Johnny Cash very late at night?
...that clubbing babies might not be all that bad after all?
...that the Philadelphia accent is the trashiest of all accents?

Albums that I have been listening to and that you should be too:
The White Stripes "Get Behind Me Satan"
The Vehicle Birth "Tragedy"
They Might Be Giants "Lincoln"
Small Brown Bike "Dead Reckoning"
Reggie and the Full Effect "Songs Not To Get Married To"
Wilco and Billy Bragg "Mermaid Avenue Volume 1"
Night Rally "The Elegant Look of the New"
Boris "Akuma No Uta"
Rush "Moving Pictures"
These Arms Are Snakes "This Was Meant To Hurt You"

Just give up, man

Lou's away message currently says "Football vs Homework: The Eternal Struggle, round 3". He then clarified to us, between watching the Eagles game and playing his game of MVP Baseball, that it is rarely a struggle. I would tend to agree with that statement: I have a proposal for a television series due on Tuesday and an essay for my creative nonfiction class due on Thursday, and they're clearly not anywhere close to thought about (the proposal) or given direction (the essay).

I should have quit school years ago.

This is how I spend my Saturday nights

8:38 get back from tla, grocery, wawa
8:47 start annie hall, watch annie hall, entertain various guests
10:34 finish annie hall, start mvp
10:52 finish mvp (won 11-0)
11:04 fucking laundry...
11:18 not dry yet. pull it out anyways
11:33 finish folding laundry, pull out acoustic
11:53 go downstairs to read and eat
12:55 make bacon cheddar ranch burger (mmm)
1:24 start animal crossing
2:17 fucked around online
2:44 downstairs
2:56 upstairs
3:09 downstairs
3:14 into basement for more guitar
3:22 start love and death
3:54 liz calls, pace around basement talking
4:22 resume love and death
5:00 start falling asleep during movie, head to bed
5:07 crawl into bed
5:22 fall asleep

I'll never be a writer

"So, Elizabeth is punching dough today. I'll be splitting wood. The dogs will be chasing chipmunks in the woodpiles. Something else will be happening out there in Chicago and Houston and Tampa and Philadelphia and even in New York. Above us, thirty thousand feet aloft, there'll be air masses moving, weather patterns developing; beyond that, going into the blackness, out to the cold stars, there'll be who knows what going on - comets, milky things, maybe strange sounds, orbits, and gravitational pulls - but down here on the Fix Ranch we will be splitting wood and punching bread."

-from Winter: Notes From Montana by Rick Bass.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

The prodigal cat returns!

Riley's back! He's been missing for almost two weeks, and just when my roommates and I had pretty much given up hope, lo and behold, the man returns! He was just chilling in the bushes in front of our house. Now he's even skinnier, somehow, and is meowing like crazy at everyone, no doubt trying to tell us of his adventures.

The White Stripes are a good band.

At the request of Tung, I will be posting an account of my minutes before I go to bed tonight. I've started and already it's blowing my mind.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Fucking sleep

I finished A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers. It was good. I recommend it. Kinda long, but luckily I don't do anything but read and/or play video games, so it was cool.

I'm tired. But I'm too wired on caffeine to take a nap. I'm sure I'll lie around all night, then get all awake and shit around 2 am and then fuck shit up on Gamecube.

Work on The Project continues. I put up some pictures and wrote funny captions on them. This is getting neat-o.

I almost wore my "Bunker in '72: We Need A Few Laughs" button today, but I chickened out at the last second. I keep making up excuses. I need to bite the bullet, put the damn thing on, and make some extremely racist comments. Not that I don't do that anyways.

OH!! Daggers of Throwing has a show next Friday at E-rock's house in Drexel Hill. There's going to be a party of sorts, and a pared down version of Daggers (me TR Smash) will be rocking out. Also, there's a chance that TR and I will be playing a set of covers under the name Speedo (formerly Soy Division and Jazz Hand Death Explosion), but that is yet to be confirmed.

I like wearing my pink bandanna.

I scare myself sometimes

I just finished my 5 page comm ethics paper. I banged it out in like an hour. What can I say, I have a real talent for bullshitting. I feel so bad for my teachers...

I've found that around this time of night every night one of two things happens. Either I start going crazy and imagining that fruit flies are biting me all over my body, or tiny flies (presumably fruit flies, or other small flies that may or may not bite (do they bite? my high school bio teacher would hate me...he loved drosophila) and love my skin) come in and bite me all over my body. I'm not sure which of these is more likely. This happens every night though. Hmm.

Thursday, September 22, 2005


I have a 5 page paper due tomorrow for Comm Ethics on a topic I haven't decided yet. I've gotten no more than 5 hours of sleep for nearly two weeks. There is going to be a great deal of gambling going on at the house tonight. You should come over and take my money.

Also, I finally found (as in looked for for the first time) the poem that my AP English teacher (that's right, the infinitely wise Bruce Rettman) suggested as the theme for our high school yearbook.

"XII" by AE Housman

I promise nothing: friends will part;
All things may end, for all began;
And truth and singleness of heart
Are mortal even as is man.

But this unlucky love should last
When answered passions thin to air;
Eternal fate so deep has cast
Its sure foundation of despair.

Everyone loves an existentialist....

Rabbit ears with tin foil ends

It's really a sad commentary on my life when my body clock is so thrown off that I don't even remember that it is so late that Conan might be on until after he has actually finished his show. Also, we don't have cable so in order to watch it we have to wrestle with the antenna for three months. Almost not worth it.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005


If you really support the troops, send them a care package. Demand that the war is ended so that they come home. Don't let someone you know go over there, because they sure as shit aren't fighting for anything worth dying for.

"There are many things worth living for, a few things worth dying for, and nothing worth killing for."
-Tom Robbins

Ah, Tuesdays

Someday, when I'm much older and much cooler, I'll be able to drink burrs outside of my frat house on a Tuesday night.

On a related note, is it really only fucking Tuesday? Whoever invented this week schedule thing should be sacked.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Work is for fucking commies!

I didn't do my work until after 3 last night. I also had an article due earlier (as in yesterday) that I still only have two paragraphs done for. I should maybe do that.

The clock on this thing is three hours slow, so I feel like it's depriving us all of the accurate representation of the hours I keep. So beware. If it impresses you, just add three hours to any post time you see. If it doesn't impress you, then fuck off.

Norlen wants me to go gambling in Jersey at 11 tonight. As much as I like staying us abysmally late, I do hate being in Jersey...

I noticed walking around campus today that I want to punch everyone that I see. Well, almost everyone - I would leave the grounds crew alone because their awesome. Especially Mary, because she could beat the shit out of me and drives that gigunduous tractor. But everyone else!


Whenever I start one of these, I need to post on it constantly. It won't last. However, I thought that it was of dire importance to relate the size of the bug currently crawling on the wall in front of my computer.

It's big. Like, this __________ big. And it has lots of legs and big antennae on either end. Of course I let him go on his merry way, and then will enjoy a nice big bacon cheeseburger tomorrow for lunch.

I'm listening to The Lemonheads right now, which is very good. A little too bright-sounding for 4 am, maybe, but I can't spend ALL my nights with the man in black. Well, I suppose I could.

It's kinda cold in my room. My nipps could cut glass. (A blatant lie and cheap line stolen from a movie, I know, but man, if they could...) I think I might go play more MVP baseball soon. I suppose I could try reading or something, but I simply got too much sleep last night (something disgusting, like eight hours or so) and won't be able to fall asleep for another couple hours. have more work to do, but why do something tonight that I can easily put off until well after it's due tomorrow?

I hope you like that picture. I thought it was nice, and very classy in black and white.

Liz is going to Staten Island! With me!!!

Monday, September 19, 2005

The Project

I began The Project. I have a roll of white paper that is 36" x 30', so I should have plenty of space. I bought a 12-pack of cute little Crayola markers and rubber cement (to make it multimedia!) and stole a bunch of magazines from the Collegian office. I don't know where it's headed or what will happen or why I started it, but it just feels good. It's also right next to my Ice Princess poster, which will make it pretty easy to space out.

She was way hotter as the "Small Town Mathlete."Wayyyy hotter. She's wearing Chucks, a killer sweater, and has a button that says "I <3 Math" on it. Come on! You can't tell me you wouldn't put it to her.

I don't know what makes me think this will be different...

But here I am. As if I didn't have enough places on the the Gore-net to post my thoughts, here is yet another. Amazingly, my old website address (Always Next Year) was already taken as a blogspot name, which I found both very interesting and very depressing.

The reason I'm here, I suppose, is that I tired of livejournal long ago, I don't find myspace conducive to anything but stalking people I no longer care about from high school (or do I care so much that I simply have to stalk them?), and Homestead stole my website--well, at least they're holding it hostage until I pony up the 34234234 bucks they want or whatever, which we all know isn't going to happen in this or any other millenium, unless someone wants to sponsor me and my internet-posting addiction. ( I feel like I could have made that sentence longer. I'll try harder next time.)

I plan on using this as an outlet for my misanthropic feelings. Well, not so much that I plan on it as much as I think that that's what it's going to devolve into. I also just bought some art supplies so that I can start a multimedia misanthropy project on the basement wall. I'm on a sinking ship full of optimists...